by Kirby Hasseman
Do you ever wake up stressed in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back asleep? Your mind starts to race about things that happened yesterday or are due tomorrow and you just can’t shut it off. Asking for a friend. I think most of us have had a night like that. Many of us have more than one. But for me, when I wake up and start to work on the problem, my anxiety goes down. The challenge might still exist, but my focus changes from all of what could happen to what I can do about it. I have shifted to my “circle of influence.” Stephen Covey talks about this concept in his amazing book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Covey explains that everyone has a circle of influence where they have direct control. Inside this circle, they can have a big impact on their day, and ultimately, their life. The challenge is, many of us spend a lot of our time focused outside of that circle. We worry and we fret over the economy, the President, other people’s opinions, and even the weather. These (and so many other things) are outside of our circle of influence. They create stress and worry and (most importantly) we can’t do ANYTHING about them. It’s a waste of time and energy. This is the inspiration for today’s VLOG. There are 3 things that I don’t pay any attention to. They are outside of my circle of influence.
That’s why, when people ask me, “what’s the weather supposed to be like tomorrow,” I can honestly say “I have no idea.” I found that the weather forecast was a source of constant frustration for me. That may be silly, but I either didn’t like what was supposed to happen, or it was not what was predicted. Most importantly, I couldn’t do anything about it. So I shut it off. What are those things in your world? What is a source of frustration for you that you can’t do anything about? It might be time to focus on your “circle of influence.” Make sure you never miss an update! Sign up to become a VIP. We send out one email per week to catch you up on all of the content! You can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
We all have “that voice.” I have talked about it before. We all have that voice that spends time telling us that we are not good enough, or smart enough, or not ready. We hear that voice the loudest when we are about ready to try something new or challenging. That voice is fear. That voice is insecurity. It’s a voice we all have. But what do we DO with it? Seth Godin, in his great book “What to do when it’s your turn (and it’s always your turn)” talks about this when he asks “where do you put the tired?” He points out that when people run a marathon, there will be a time when you get tired. There are no books on how to run a marathon WITHOUT getting tired. When you run 26.2 miles, you will get tired. So what do you do with the tired? The same point is true for fear and insecurity. There is no way to create or challenge yourself or try something new without hearing that voice. So what do you do with it? From what I can tell, people do one of a few things when confronted with “that voice.” Run Away: When faced with something that scares people, sometimes they just completely avoid anything to do with it. They feel if they don’t know about or see it, that opportunity will not exist. The problem with this group is they will never achieve what they could in life. By avoiding their fears, they avoid their potential too. Curl Up: Sometimes the fear just stops them. They don’t leave the area. They just watch others do what they want to do and wish. The challenge here is this leads to a life of jealousy. They will constantly be watching people doing the things they would love to do…but won’t. When you see people who are mean-spirited and judgmental online, I always consider this group. Fake It Till You Make It: You see this group full of bravado. They feel like if they are brash and confident enough on the outside, we won’t know they hear the voice. This has been me many times in my life. Though this is preferred to the first two, because at least they are leaning in, it is hard to sustain. I think the goal for this group is to start here, and then grow to a place where you don’t have to fake it anymore. Ignore the Voice: These people still hear that voice, but they choose to push forward anyway. They know it might not work. They know there is a chance of failure. But they find a place to “put the fear.” This is, generally, the group that creates long term value and content and success. Which one are you? If you are like most of us, you have been all of these in different areas of your life. But now that you recognize it…what will you be today…and tomorrow? Where will you put “that voice?” Make sure you never miss an update! Each week we send out one email with all of the content of the week! It’s our VIP list and you can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
In a few days, Kelly Bowe and I (and thousands and thousands of other marketing professionals) will descend upon Las Vegas for the PPAI Expo. It is one of the largest trade shows in the United States.
Imagine, if you will, the ultimate trade show of trade shows.
Though the event is amazingly well run, hugely helpful and a wonderful thing to attend, it can also be totally overwhelming. My guess is, regardless of industry, you have events like this too. So here are some simple tips and tricks to making the most of your big trade show.
Comfy Shoes: Though there are still plenty of people that look sharp, business attire has become less formal. Regardless of how you feel about that, this is one time to make sure you have comfortable shoes. Make sure you have shoes you can walk and/or stand in for hours. You don’t want to be missing out because all you can think about is your aching feet.
Lots of Water: At many events, plenty of people drink. They just don’t drink enough water! These events can strain you both mentally and physically. Make sure you take the time to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Many events have hydration stations. Take a re-usable water bottle and drink the H20.
Have a Plan: When I first starting attending events like this, my plan was “I want to see everything!” As I know now, this is not a plan. It’s a recipe for being overwhelmed and exhausted. Before you leave for the event, make a list of people you want to meet, projects you want to research, and things you want to do. Keep this list close at hand to make sure you stay on track.
As a side note, for education conferences, I like to think “what is the one thing” I want to take away from this? It helps me focus in and not be so distracted by all of the concepts I am hearing. For example, this year at Skucon, my goal is to make in person connections with as many people as possible. Regardless of your event, have a plan and a goal. It will help you make the most of your event!
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by Kirby Hasseman
“Most people,” Steven Covey writes, “do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
We have two ears and only one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk.
Ironically, we’ve been told to listen so much that many of us have—well—stopped listening to the advice.
You probably understand, at least intellectually, that you need to listen “with the intent to understand.” But what are you listening to?
From my perspective, one of the best ways to become a better listener is to ask better questions. When you get someone talking passionately about themselves and their company, it can be easier (and more interesting) to just sit back and take it in.
So, with that in mind, here are 20 examples of the types of questions I ask when meeting a new client or customer for the first time. My goal is to get them talking about themselves, their company, and their industry.
Building a strong rapport with them builds a foundation of trust between us. And in building trust, attentive listening is essential.
20 Open-Ended Rapport-Building Questions to Help You Build Better Relationships with New Clients
- What is the goal/mission of your company?
- Tell me more about your organization.
- What is the BEST thing about your organization?
- What are you most proud of?
- When it comes to your field, why you (instead of someone else)?
- Who is the “go-to” person to learn about…?
- How did you get here? Tell me about you.
- Why did you choose to do this?
- What is your biggest concern moving into the new quarter/month/year?
- What is the biggest challenge you have right now?
- Why does your organization do this?
- Why is your company the best?
- What do many people think about your company that is not (completely) true?
- How can I help you?
- How do customers (donors, etc.) find you?
- If I could give you three wishes, what would they be?
- What keeps you up at night?
- What gets you going in the morning?
- What is your company’s “why?”
- When is your team at its best?
These 20 questions will get you started—but, of course, questions are only the beginning.
It’s amazing how thoughtful questioning and attentive listening lead to mutual understanding and better, stronger business relationships. Business-to-business partnerships thrive when we just stop and take the time to listen.
Which questions do you use to spark meaningful conversation? Let me know!
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by Kirby Hasseman
Since my treadmill broke, I have had a tough time consistently working out in the morning. It’s not that I never work out anymore. I have made the conscious effort to do it. I have worked out in the morning and I have gotten in steps in the evening. At times, I have even done more…but it’s not consistent. It’s not a part of my morning routine. And I was trying to figure out why. Knowledge: I mean, I know I need to do it. Intellectually, I know it makes me healthier and it makes me feel better all day. I have the knowledge that it needs to happen. I even know how to get it done. Options: In addition, there are plenty of other options. I could walk outside. Though I don’t like the cold temperatures, I could certainly do it. I could go for a run. I could go to a local facility called Kids America and walk around the track. In addition, I have a DVD routine called P90X3. I even kind of like that workout routine! So while I know I should do it, and I know how to do it, I am struggling to make it happen! It comes down to two reasons for me. The First Step: While I know I need to workout, and I even like the workout, I do know it will be hard! P90X3 is a pretty intense program. So while I can do it in my basement, I need to get myself to go to my basement to get started. Once I am in the basement, no problem. It’s getting myself from upstairs to downstairs. It’s simple…but not easy. So many mornings, it’s just easier to hit the snooze button or decide to do it later. It’s the first steps to go down the stairs that trip me up. No Routine: This is the power of a routine (and why I talk about them a lot). When the treadmill was there, I had a routine. I did not have to think about it. It had become a part of my morning. I did not have to “make a decision” each morning to work out. And since I did not have to burn mental calories, I almost always found myself on the treadmill. That is why I talk a lot about creating positive routines in our lives. If we create them intentionally, then our subconscious mind can steer us (on autopilot) the direction we want to go. “Great,” you might be thinking. “But what if I don’t have a routine now?” It’s time to start creating one. We all have routines in our lives. Most of the time, though, they are unintentional. So now is a great time to start creating a positive routine, on purpose. If you want a great book to help you get started, check out the “The 5 Second Rule,” by Mel Robbins. So regardless of what you want to create in your life, start to work toward it today. It can happen, one small decision at a time. As for me, I need to go work out. Make sure you never miss an update. Sign up to be a VIP today. You can sign up here.
