by Kirby Hasseman
Do you ever wake up stressed in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back asleep? Your mind starts to race about things that happened yesterday or are due tomorrow and you just can’t shut it off. Asking for a friend. I think most of us have had a night like that. Many of us have more than one. But for me, when I wake up and start to work on the problem, my anxiety goes down. The challenge might still exist, but my focus changes from all of what could happen to what I can do about it. I have shifted to my “circle of influence.” Stephen Covey talks about this concept in his amazing book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Covey explains that everyone has a circle of influence where they have direct control. Inside this circle, they can have a big impact on their day, and ultimately, their life. The challenge is, many of us spend a lot of our time focused outside of that circle. We worry and we fret over the economy, the President, other people’s opinions, and even the weather. These (and so many other things) are outside of our circle of influence. They create stress and worry and (most importantly) we can’t do ANYTHING about them. It’s a waste of time and energy. This is the inspiration for today’s VLOG. There are 3 things that I don’t pay any attention to. They are outside of my circle of influence.
That’s why, when people ask me, “what’s the weather supposed to be like tomorrow,” I can honestly say “I have no idea.” I found that the weather forecast was a source of constant frustration for me. That may be silly, but I either didn’t like what was supposed to happen, or it was not what was predicted. Most importantly, I couldn’t do anything about it. So I shut it off. What are those things in your world? What is a source of frustration for you that you can’t do anything about? It might be time to focus on your “circle of influence.” Make sure you never miss an update! Sign up to become a VIP. We send out one email per week to catch you up on all of the content! You can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
We all have “that voice.” I have talked about it before. We all have that voice that spends time telling us that we are not good enough, or smart enough, or not ready. We hear that voice the loudest when we are about ready to try something new or challenging. That voice is fear. That voice is insecurity. It’s a voice we all have. But what do we DO with it? Seth Godin, in his great book “What to do when it’s your turn (and it’s always your turn)” talks about this when he asks “where do you put the tired?” He points out that when people run a marathon, there will be a time when you get tired. There are no books on how to run a marathon WITHOUT getting tired. When you run 26.2 miles, you will get tired. So what do you do with the tired? The same point is true for fear and insecurity. There is no way to create or challenge yourself or try something new without hearing that voice. So what do you do with it? From what I can tell, people do one of a few things when confronted with “that voice.” Run Away: When faced with something that scares people, sometimes they just completely avoid anything to do with it. They feel if they don’t know about or see it, that opportunity will not exist. The problem with this group is they will never achieve what they could in life. By avoiding their fears, they avoid their potential too. Curl Up: Sometimes the fear just stops them. They don’t leave the area. They just watch others do what they want to do and wish. The challenge here is this leads to a life of jealousy. They will constantly be watching people doing the things they would love to do…but won’t. When you see people who are mean-spirited and judgmental online, I always consider this group. Fake It Till You Make It: You see this group full of bravado. They feel like if they are brash and confident enough on the outside, we won’t know they hear the voice. This has been me many times in my life. Though this is preferred to the first two, because at least they are leaning in, it is hard to sustain. I think the goal for this group is to start here, and then grow to a place where you don’t have to fake it anymore. Ignore the Voice: These people still hear that voice, but they choose to push forward anyway. They know it might not work. They know there is a chance of failure. But they find a place to “put the fear.” This is, generally, the group that creates long term value and content and success. Which one are you? If you are like most of us, you have been all of these in different areas of your life. But now that you recognize it…what will you be today…and tomorrow? Where will you put “that voice?” Make sure you never miss an update! Each week we send out one email with all of the content of the week! It’s our VIP list and you can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
There is a correlation between Fear and Fire. I heard a great analogy about fear from Grant Cardone. Grant is a hard charging sales trainer and real estate entrepreneur and author. He has penned several books including the 10X Rule. Grant compares Fear to Fire. Fire is powerful and is fueled by oxygen. The more oxygen a fire gets, the more likely it is to grow. But if you cut out the oxygen, the fire goes away. No oxygen = no fire. Fear is powerful as well. It can drive us or stop us. The fuel for fear is time. The more time you give fear, the bigger the fear gets! So the way to cut out fear is to cut out time. When you have that urge to make that next sales call, or go to that next conference, or go up to that stranger and introduce yourself, your brain will try and talk you out of it. It wants to keep you comfortable. So, it gives you fear. In response to the fear, our natural response is to wait. We have to wait until we are ready, or until the music is right or the script is better or until the website is complete. We feed the fear with time…and the fear gets bigger. So the next time you have that urge to do something you know you need to do, don’t wait until you are ready. Take advice from Nike. Just do it. Don’t wait until the time is right…it never will be. Don’t wait for the script to be perfect, it can’t be. Just act. Take away the time…and you will choke out the fear. Now might be a great time to act for you. Join our VIP list. We send out an email once a week with all of our content in one place. You can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
Since my treadmill broke, I have had a tough time consistently working out in the morning. It’s not that I never work out anymore. I have made the conscious effort to do it. I have worked out in the morning and I have gotten in steps in the evening. At times, I have even done more…but it’s not consistent. It’s not a part of my morning routine. And I was trying to figure out why. Knowledge: I mean, I know I need to do it. Intellectually, I know it makes me healthier and it makes me feel better all day. I have the knowledge that it needs to happen. I even know how to get it done. Options: In addition, there are plenty of other options. I could walk outside. Though I don’t like the cold temperatures, I could certainly do it. I could go for a run. I could go to a local facility called Kids America and walk around the track. In addition, I have a DVD routine called P90X3. I even kind of like that workout routine! So while I know I should do it, and I know how to do it, I am struggling to make it happen! It comes down to two reasons for me. The First Step: While I know I need to workout, and I even like the workout, I do know it will be hard! P90X3 is a pretty intense program. So while I can do it in my basement, I need to get myself to go to my basement to get started. Once I am in the basement, no problem. It’s getting myself from upstairs to downstairs. It’s simple…but not easy. So many mornings, it’s just easier to hit the snooze button or decide to do it later. It’s the first steps to go down the stairs that trip me up. No Routine: This is the power of a routine (and why I talk about them a lot). When the treadmill was there, I had a routine. I did not have to think about it. It had become a part of my morning. I did not have to “make a decision” each morning to work out. And since I did not have to burn mental calories, I almost always found myself on the treadmill. That is why I talk a lot about creating positive routines in our lives. If we create them intentionally, then our subconscious mind can steer us (on autopilot) the direction we want to go. “Great,” you might be thinking. “But what if I don’t have a routine now?” It’s time to start creating one. We all have routines in our lives. Most of the time, though, they are unintentional. So now is a great time to start creating a positive routine, on purpose. If you want a great book to help you get started, check out the “The 5 Second Rule,” by Mel Robbins. So regardless of what you want to create in your life, start to work toward it today. It can happen, one small decision at a time. As for me, I need to go work out. Make sure you never miss an update. Sign up to be a VIP today. You can sign up here.
by Kirby Hasseman
As humans, we have a very specific problem. Well maybe not ALL humans. This just applies to the ones that want to evolve and grow and change. And the fact that you are reading a blog, tells me you are one of “those people.” The problem has to do with Certainty and unCertainty.
As humans we are constantly looking to create certainty in our lives. We want to create the airtight plans. We want to select the “best” way to do something. We really want to know the outcome of any endeavor before we actually take the leap. If we can’t know and predict success (with certainty), many of us don’t want to take action at all.
The problem, of course, starts with this; there is no certainty. In no area of life is there really certainty. We cannot predict the future. We don’t know how long we are going to live. We can’t ensure the gamble will work. We can’t ever be totally certain…of anything. We are chasing a ghost.
Ironically the only thing that is really certain…is uncertainty.
Here’s the other thing, uncertainty is where the magic happens. If you want to learn anything new, that comes in the land of uncertainty. If you want to level up at work, there is no specific path that guarantees success. If you want to create a business, write a book, run a marathon, or date the person of your dreams, you are going to have to willingly and earnestly lean into an area that will be completely uncertain.
So that’s the paradox. We seek a level of certainty that is unattainable. We avoid the uncertainty, because it makes us uncomfortable. But our personal and professional growth comes when we embrace the uncertainty of life…and lean in.
Take the leap. Make the call. Put in the work. It might not work. The outcome is not certain. And that, my friends, is perfect.
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