by Kirby Hasseman
There is a powerful story from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People where Steven Covey was speaking to a group. After the talk, a man came up to Mr. Covey and said “My wife and I are close to a divorce. We just don’t love each other anymore. What should I do?”
Covey told the man, “You need to LOVE her.”
The man was confused. “But you don’t understand,” he said. “We just don’t FEEL that way anymore.”
Covey explained, “That’s the problem. Love is not a feeling. Love is an action.” Covey went onto explain that the husband needed to get back to taking action in consistent with love. He needed to do things for her. He needed to serve her. He needed to LOVE her. It’s an action.
I was reminded about this at a church service recently when our pastor declared that “Compassion is NOT a feeling. It’s an action!” I agree. Way too many times in life, we feel things and hope that is enough. It almost never is. It is imperative, in nearly every area of our lives, to take more action. The thing that is holding most people back in their work, dreams, relationships, fitness and more…is action. Most of us dream about what we want. We think a lot about what others have that we don’t. We might even take the extra step and write down the sincere wishes we have in our life. Heck, we might even meditate or pray in hopes the universe will bring them to us!
What we don’t do is take action.
If we are not seeing enough change, we are not taking enough action.
So if you want your spouse to know that you love them…LOVE them. If you want your team to know you have compassion for them…SHOW them. If you want your community to know you care about it…GIVE something. It’s not about thoughts. It’s not about dreams. It’s about action. Take some.
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by Kirby Hasseman
We all have areas of struggle. We all have days when we are having trouble keeping up.
As I am writing this, I am a bit overwhelmed.
The good news is, business and life have been “busy.” I am trying to take every call and attend every meeting. The phone continues to ring and emails continue to roll in with a “ding” on the computer. It’s great because it’s what we have been working for…right?
But in the meantime, I want to make sure I continue to do the things that started the activity to begin with! I want to continue to write this blog. I want to create more video content. I want to answer every question. I even want to write a new book.
Oh…and I want to be a good father and husband too.
I know you get it. You likely have similar challenges. But this morning, I got up early so I could get “some things done” and I am overwhelmed.
I don’t know where to start.
As I thought about this, I realized my activity level had just gone up to a level where I was no longer comfortable. My schedule has changed. My expectations have changed. I have (hopefully) leveled up.
Ed Mylett talks about this in a recent podcast/video (you can see that here). In this piece of content Ed talks about the Thermostat of life. I love this concept. The idea is, that you set your life Thermostat where you are comfortable…and where you think you deserve. So if you have a 70 degree life, and things go bad, you will work really hard to get things back to normal. It acts just like a thermostat. It will heat you back up.
But the converse is true. If you get “hotter” than you are used to, your thermostat will cool you down. It will bring your activity level back down to where you feel better…more comfortable. It might help you stay comfortable…but it goes against what you are trying to accomplish.
I think that is what is happening to me this morning.
So, while I don’t have the answers, I need to reframe this in my mind. Obviously, having lots of activity is a wonderful thing. And when I feel this struggle, I need to recognize it as progress.
I need to lean in to the struggle. I will do that today…and keep you posted.
by Kirby Hasseman
It’s Monday. Many people start off the week with a feeling of dread. But it doesn’t have to be that way! How can you get your Monday (and ultimately your week) off on the right foot? Here are a few simple tips that will help you start to love Monday!
Own the First 60 Seconds: The fact is, most of us start our day living in the past. We wake up and are immediately worried about the actions of yesterday or the problems coming up. That’s no formula for happiness or success. Take a deep breath and bring yourself into the now. Read more about this here.
Have a Good Routine: We all have routines that govern our life. Studies will tell you that between 60% and 70% of the decisions you make each day are on auto-pilot. So spend some time to create routines that serve you. Drink water. Exercise. Read. Whatever feeds your brain and your soul. Make that a part of your every day. Put IN Some Good: Which leads you to get some sources of inspiration that help to feed that brain first thing in the morning. My sources include Gary Vaynerchuck, Seth Godin, Ed Mylett and more. But if you need another, check out my Youtube Channel and subscribe. Our goal is to provide some education and inspiration as well!
Push Out Some Good: Another great way to get your mindset kicked off in the right direction is to simply do some good first thing. For me, it might be writing a blog post. My creative juices get flowing and I hope to affect some positive change. It might be sending a thank you card or email or text. Push out some good…it will make you feel great!
Chart a Course For Action: Now it’s time to be intentional. Don’t just let the day happen to you. Spend some time and chart a few things you want to get done today. Creating a short list of “must do’s” can help keep you on track when the whirlwind of the day hits! It’s time to take Monday back! Try a few of these simple steps to get you off on the right foot to attack your week! Now…let’s go do this!
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by Kirby Hasseman
Let’s address a “hypothetical situation” that happens all of the time.
You have taken the time to create a social media presence. Your Facebook page is solid and you post valuable content regularly. You are providing good information and engaging with the growing audience. You are killing it with your social media marketing.
Then one day, you get a negative comment. A customer came to your location and had a bad experience. They might have had an actual bad experience…or maybe they are just a difficult person. Their coffee was cold. Or their server was slow. Or their customer service representative was rude. Whatever the reason, they have decided to let the entire world know via social media!
What do you do now?
If this does not sound familiar yet, it will. The reality is, with the internet, everyone has a voice. And when people feel they have been wronged, they want to share that experience. The thing is, this is not a new thing. People have always shared their negative opinions. Now, everyone just has a larger audience. So what do you, as an organization, do when you get one of these negative comments online?
There are a couple steps to take (and they are outlined in detail in the GREAT book by Jay Baer “Hug Your Haters.“) But before we get to the simple steps, let’s reframe the discussion. We need to look a bit differently about the feedback. As I mentioned above, these conversations have always happened. But now you get to be a part of them! You get to address (the sometimes) very real issues with your service so that future customers don’t have the same experience. This is incredible intel to make your organization better! You need to start by looking at it that way. Don’t get defensive…get pro-active to fix the issue.
Now onto the simple steps.
When you receive a negative comment about your company, product or service, I recommend you respond to the comment by doing three things. Apologize. Empathize. Take it offline.
Apologize
Regardless of the issue, you don’t want your customer or prospects to have a bad experience, right? So apologize for it. “I am so sorry you had this experience.”
Empathize
This is when many of us feel the need to “give a reason” why this happened. This “reason” often comes off as an “excuse.” No one wants an excuse. They want to know they are valued.
Take if offline
I recommend you give them a number (to a real person) to call to discuss their issue. First, this shows you really want to handle it. Second, it keeps you from getting into an argument online…NEVER a good idea. This can be an incredibly effective technique. Often, you won’t ever get the call from the person. They just wanted to vent. But by responding, you not only responded to that customer, but everyone who knows them SEES that you responded. It shows you care enough to try and fix the issue.
And as customers, we know that caring can go a long way.
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by Kirby Hasseman
One question I get regularly is “how do you stay positive?”
Most of the time I struggle to really answer this question. There are several reasons why. 1. I don’t always “feel” positive. I have the same negative voices that everyone has. They are constantly in my head, reminding me of my failures and frustrations. 2. It’s who I am.
On the other hand, I have been working on being more positive for a long time. At this point, I don’t know if it’s genetic, or if it comes from a long focus. But it is (now) my default position. So it’s a little bit like asking someone “why do you like food, or running, or whatever?” The answer is often, “I don’t know, I just do.”
With that being said, I was thinking about this question the other day and realized that I do one thing that does help me set my mind right first thing in the morning. The concept is simple and foundational. Just like in a house, the foundation of your day is super important. It doesn’t matter what your house looks like. It might be straight out of a movie. The house might be huge and have all of the amenities in the world. But it doesn’t matter if you have heated floors, huge windows and a 5 car garage, if your foundation is not done right, that house will crumble.
The same is true for your day.
That’s why it’s so critical for me to own the first 60 seconds. Most people wake up and immediately start to relive yesterday. They look back at the stresses and failures of yesterday and their heart starts to race. Their mind starts to fill with dread and stress and BOOM…you are done. You are living in the past. The day is no longer yours. (The same is true if you immediately jump to the stresses of the upcoming day). I have those voices too. But when I feel that stress start to flood my mind when I first awake, I do two things.
1. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.
2. Then I go through a simple gratitude exercise.
I think of the things in my life that I am grateful for or excited about. They might be my daughters or my co-workers or my wife or my bed. They might be projects at work, or people who have helped me. Whatever. I take a full minute to try and re-calibrate my mind and get it ready to attack the day with a different, more productive, mindset. For me, this is the foundation of the day. So try it for the next week and let me know how it works for you. Set the right foundation and the rest of your day will improve.
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