But That’s Not Fair!

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but it's not fair

I wrote a post recently about Colin Kaepernick and the idea that his actions and words did not align.  He has been saying (for nearly 3 years) that he wants a job in the NFL, and when given the recent opportunity to workout for teams, he pulled out at the last minute and did a workout on his own.  To me, his words were saying one thing, but his actions said another.  The lesson for the rest of us, I thought, was that we need to make sure our words match our actions, if we want to be successful in our goals.

While the post was met with lots of positive feedback, the push back came in from the respectful (saying I was misinformed) to the insulting (saying I was a knucklehead and a racist).  In short, most of the disagreement came down to a simple message.  “It’s not fair.”

Let me be clear, there has been so much bad blood between the NFL and Colin Kaepernick, that I could not cover it in this blog.  It would take a book.  Kaepernick supporters will tell you that the NFL has not acted in good faith.  They were not transparent.  Indeed, the NFL had other motives all along.  The NFL, after all, is the bad guy here.  In other words, “It’s not fair.”

To that I respond with a simple question.  “So?”

I stand by my statement that, at the end of the day, Kaepernick says he wants a job with one of the 32 NFL teams.  If you really want that opportunity, you do what it takes to get it.  You go to whatever interview.  You workout when asked.  If your words say you want the job, your actions need to match them.  That is all.

Life is not fair.  If you want to reach a goal, you go after it anyway.

It never seems fair when the largest company in your space has more buying power and more leverage.  And yet, if you want to compete, you have to go to market anyway.

When my oldest daughter wanted to be a professional dancer, she drove 2 hours to an audition, was allowed to do an 8 count of dance with 60 other dances, and was dismissed.  It wasn’t fair.  There is no way they could have really known her ability in those 6 seconds.  And yet, if she wanted to be a professional dancer, she had to suck it up and go to the next audition.

It’s not fair that a small local competitor is willing to undercut you on every bid.  Despite the fact that you provide better service and quality, it’s not fair that your customer sees you as equals!

You may look at the the system and decide you don’t want to compete.  You may feel the need to change the game or get out entirely.  A select few might want to re-think their tactics and try to compete in a different way.  It’s your call.  But the market does not care if “it’s not fair.”

When it comes to chasing your goals and dreams, the lesson is simple (but not easy).  Go after it.  Show up.  Do the work.  Or don’t.  It’s your call.

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Bring Me Another Thought

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bring me another thought

Have you ever told your brain to “Bring me another thought?”  Here is a statement I have found to be true:  “You cannot consistently act inconsistently with your thoughts.”

It is old wisdom that says, “As you think, you shall be.”  It’s one of the reasons that I spend a lot of time and energy trying to manage the very beginning of my day.  I find that most people spend a lot of their day living in the past or in the future.  They are frustrated with yesterday or they are worried about tomorrow.  This is not a happy way to live, and it’s not particularly productive either.

In his book, “Solve For Happy,” Mo Gawdat spends a great deal of time talking about this.  He says that if you look at nearly every negative emotion in our life, you find a common theme.  They are not rooted in the present moment.  If you look at anger and frustration, for example, they are usually reminding us of something that happened yesterday.  The tension of worry and anxiety usually come from projecting what might happen tomorrow.  The past is over and the future is not (yet) real.

Unless you are in pain, Gawdat explains, the best way to be more joyful is to live in the present moment.  I talk about living in the “IS” here.

Bring Me Another Thought

Another concept in the book that I found helpful was the idea that “we are not our thoughts.”  Though we are flooded with thoughts all day long, we have the ability to separate from our thoughts.  We don’t have to take every single thought that rolls through our head as “fact.”  We get to choose.  Gawdat says that when he finds that the thoughts in his head are negative and not helpful, he will simply say “Bring me another thought please.”

It may sound silly, but it is an intentional act where you take control of your thoughts again.  At first, I was a bit uneasy about this idea, but I have found the act of saying these words out loud actually make me smile.

As I said, you cannot act inconsistently with your thoughts.  If that’s the case, it’s time to choose better thoughts.

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When Your Words Don’t Match Your Actions

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kaepernick actions words

We all know that guy or gal.  They have lots to say about an issue or an idea.  They talk a big game.  But when it comes to showing up and doing the work, they often seem to be absent.

These people frustrate us for many reasons.  First off, many times, these folks seem to reek of high potential.  You can see it.  If they would just put in the work, they could be amazing.  But they don’t seem willing to able to see the idea through to the end.  It’s the reason there are countless memes that say “Hustle beats Talent.”  They are inspirational for those of us (like me) who don’t have the most talent.  They are also true.

The second reason this bothers us is because it shows they have a lack of integrity.  People who are “all talk and no action” tell us they are going to do one thing, but their actions don’t match their words.  They tell us how they are going to conquer the world, but then they binge watch Game of Thrones instead.  It’s a choice.  And this choice shows us what they really want.  Their words lie to us, but their actions tell the truth.

And inevitably, when their bold predictions don’t come true, they play the blame game.

It can’t be their fault.  The world was stacked against them.  It was not the work that they did not do.  It was just not fair.

And that leads me to Ex-NFL Quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

For those that don’t follow sports, Colin Kaepernick is a former NFL Quarterback.  He led the San Francisco 49’ers to a Super Bowl appearance and was on his was to a stellar NFL career.  To make a very long story short, he then decided to protest police brutality by kneeling for the National Anthem.  He became a national lightning rod and, since then, has not been able to find work in the NFL.  Like I said, I am making a long story short.

Kaepernick is a very talented athlete, that stood up (or rather kneeled) for what he believed.  Whether you like Kaepernick or not (and he is incredibly polarizing), I love the idea that we are able to do that in the United States.  So I was encouraged and intrigued when I heard that he NFL had created a “workout day” for Kaepernick to perform for any team interested in checking out if he could still play.  Like many fans of the sport, I was curious to see how the workout went, and where Kaepernick might end up.

Alas, it was a workout that never actually happened.  After weeks of planning, the NFL had 25 teams scheduled to come and see Kaepernick workout.  About an hour and a half before the event, Kaepernick changed his mind and decided to hold his own workout about 60 minutes away.  Only 7 or 8 teams came to the event.  Afterward, Kaepernick came out and said the NFL needs to “stop running.”  The whole thing was as confusing as it was frustrating.

Why?  Because his actions do not match his words.

Kaepernick says he wants to play in the NFL again.  He says he is being discriminated against.  He even sued the NFL.  But at the end of the day, there is a path to get back in the league and he continually doesn’t take it.  Time after time, Kaepernick pokes the people he wishes to employ him in the eye.  Regardless of your occupation, that is no way to get a job.

I think that is why many of us find Kaepernick so frustrating.  I would love for him to succeed, but he is like that friend of ours.  He has the talent and the ability.  When you chat with him, he talks a big game.  But when the time comes to “put up or shut up,” he fails to come through.

The lesson here stares us in the mirror.  Many of us profess to want the big results in sales or business.  But are you really willing to put in the work? Are you really ready to have your actions match your words?  The good news and bad news is, it’s only up to you.

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He Said She Said Podcast Episode 28

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It’s time for Episode 28 of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing!  This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing!    We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!

On this episode we talk about…

Trending Topic

This week Kirby and Amy discuss the World Kindness Day.  They talk about why this is a great idea…and some simple ways for each of us to take part!

Weekly Whirlwind

This week in the Weekly Whirlwind Kirby talks about year end gifts and an increase in video work.  Amy digs into her version of “groundhog day.”  She talks about the very slow and frustrating progress at the building…and how she is coping.

Lesson In Life

This week in the “lesson in life” Kirby and Amy talk about the idea of getting back what you push out.  No matter the kind of energy you push into the universe, you do get it back.  But it’s not just about thinking thoughts.  You need to take action.  Kirby and Amy dig into this a bit.

Shout Outs

Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work.  This week Amy talks about the good work that the Coshocton Rotary Club does in the community.  They are selling their 12 Days of Christmas tickets right now and you can take part!  Get with your friendly neighborhood Rotary member to participate.  Kirby gives his shout out to Madison Miller!  Madison was recently named Miss Maple City and will participate in Miss Ohio next year.  She is a great example of a future generation that fills us with hope!  Listen in!

So that’s a wrap!  Thanks for listening to Episode 28 of the He Said She Said Podcast!   Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value!  If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.

Thanks so much for listening!  If you have any topics you want Kirby and Amy to cover, please comment and let us know!  Oh…and if you like this content, check out this page where you can find all of the content we create!  

He Said She Said Podcast Episode 27

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It’s time for Episode 27 of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing!  This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing!    We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!

On this episode we talk about…

Trending Topic

This week Kirby and Amy take on a VERY important topic.  When is too soon to start celebrating the Christmas season?  It’s a hard hitting topic…and they pull no punches.  🙂

Weekly Whirlwind

This week in the Weekly Whirlwind Kirby talks about what happens when an employee leaves.  One of our employees took another job and they discuss what that means inside Hasseman Marketing.  Amy talks about the slow progress in the building and how frustrating that can be.

Lesson In Life

This week in the “lesson in life” Kirby and Amy talk about what they do when they (inevitably) hit a wall or get burn out.  Kirby discusses getting back to his “why.”  Amy talks about the need to physically recharge.  How do you get back on track?

Shout Outs

Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work.  This week Kirby talks about a collaboration between the Pomerene Center for the Arts and Coshocton Behavioral Health Choices on an art project.  You can see video about that project here.  Amy talks about the Kiwanis Pancake Day and the good that comes from that fun event (that is today).

So that’s a wrap!  Thanks for listening to Episode 27 of the He Said She Said Podcast!   Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value!  If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.

Thanks so much for listening!  If you have any topics you want Kirby and Amy to cover, please comment and let us know!  Oh…and if you like this content, check out this page where you can find all of the content we create!