by Kirby Hasseman
“Most people,” Steven Covey writes, “do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
We have two ears and only one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk.
Ironically, we’ve been told to listen so much that many of us have—well—stopped listening to the advice.
You probably understand, at least intellectually, that you need to listen “with the intent to understand.” But what are you listening to?
From my perspective, one of the best ways to become a better listener is to ask better questions. When you get someone talking passionately about themselves and their company, it can be easier (and more interesting) to just sit back and take it in.
So, with that in mind, here are 20 examples of the types of questions I ask when meeting a new client or customer for the first time. My goal is to get them talking about themselves, their company, and their industry.
Building a strong rapport with them builds a foundation of trust between us. And in building trust, attentive listening is essential.
20 Open-Ended Rapport-Building Questions to Help You Build Better Relationships with New Clients
- What is the goal/mission of your company?
- Tell me more about your organization.
- What is the BEST thing about your organization?
- What are you most proud of?
- When it comes to your field, why you (instead of someone else)?
- Who is the “go-to” person to learn about…?
- How did you get here? Tell me about you.
- Why did you choose to do this?
- What is your biggest concern moving into the new quarter/month/year?
- What is the biggest challenge you have right now?
- Why does your organization do this?
- Why is your company the best?
- What do many people think about your company that is not (completely) true?
- How can I help you?
- How do customers (donors, etc.) find you?
- If I could give you three wishes, what would they be?
- What keeps you up at night?
- What gets you going in the morning?
- What is your company’s “why?”
- When is your team at its best?
These 20 questions will get you started—but, of course, questions are only the beginning.
It’s amazing how thoughtful questioning and attentive listening lead to mutual understanding and better, stronger business relationships. Business-to-business partnerships thrive when we just stop and take the time to listen.
Which questions do you use to spark meaningful conversation? Let me know!
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by Kirby Hasseman
I believe we are living in a “Give First Economy.” What I mean by this (and I talk about it more here) is that the best and most successful brands, salespeople, entrepreneurs, etc. provide value up front. They “give” before they go for the sale. This is great for people who want to “do business right,” because they are poised to do this anyway. They want to help. But there is one mistake that I see people make all of the time around this “give first” economy. They want to say “thank you,” but they mix it up.
Let me explain. I got a box in the mail the other day from one of our suppliers. They are a great company, and we do a decent amount of business with them. The box said it had a gift inside, so I was excited to break it open. Let’s face it, it’s always nice to get a “thank you gift.” However, when I opened the package, there was a sales flyer and samples. Don’t get me wrong. They were nice samples. They even had good information on the sales flyer. It was a quality sales piece…and it got me to open the box.
But it was NOT a thank you gift. It was a sales pitch.
I immediately felt duped. I was a disappointed. I went from being excited to being (mildly) annoyed.
It was not the most egregious mistake in the world. It’s not like I won’t forgive them. But I guarantee you it was not what they wanted me to feel (at least I hope not).
So just a quick word of advice for Succeeding in the Give First Economy; don’t mix up appreciation and sales. If you want to say “thank you,” then just do that. Show the appreciation. Be sincere. Give first. Don’t work in a sales pitch. You are smart enough to see through that…and so are your customers and prospects. It takes away from the original intent. It also decreases the likelihood that I open the next package.
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by Kirby Hasseman
I was working with a brand new sales rep the other day (don’t worry, we will have more on that soon), and she asked me a question. “What do you say when a prospect says ‘We already have someone who does this and we are super happy?'” she asked me.
This is a love/hate question for me. I hate it because whenever I am asked, the person asking is hoping for that magic response that opens all sales doors. This response is the ultimate objection over-comer. I hate the question, because I don’t think that answer exists. At least I don’t want it to.
I love the question because it reveals an important secret in sales. It reveals that much of what we have been taught about sales training (through movies and books) is a lie. Your job, as a salesperson (or entrepreneur, etc.) is NOT to convince people who don’t want to buy from you to buy from you. It’s not. That will be frustrating and a huge waste of time.
Your job is to help guide prospects who ARE interested in buying to buy from you. Your job is to serve them. Your job is to be a human.
So my response is simple when I get this push back.
“You already have someone and are happy? That is awesome. I respect that loyalty. I certainly hope my clients have that same loyalty for us! You have your number 1 option. But if you ever need another quote, another set of ideas, we would love to be your number 2 option.”
So…how do you sell to someone who does not want to buy? You don’t. Simple as that.
The fact is, with most products there are plenty of people who are interested in what you are selling. There is plenty of business out there to get. Doesn’t it make more sense to focus on those people that are interested? It’s a waste of time to chase people who (for whatever reason) are not. Oh, and as a side note, most people are so used to being “sold to,” that by simply being “a human” about it, you might actually win them over.
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by Kirby Hasseman
It’s hard to believe it’s been over a half a year! For better than 6 months, I have been writing a blog post here each and every day. It’s Saturday morning, as I write this, and here I am, typing away. The experience has been enlightening in many ways, and it has forced me to stretch myself. Ed Mylett talks about being successful starts with “keeping promises to yourself,” and this has been that for me.
But one thing it has truly taught me is what I DON’T know. I don’t know what it going to work or resonate. I don’t know what is going to help people. Here is an example from this week. On Monday I posted a blog that I wrote a few years ago. It was 5 Business Lessons you can learn from Garth Brooks. I was watching a concert with him at Notre Dame Stadium and that seemed appropriate. It was a blog post that did very well.
Then on Friday I posted 5 Business Lessons you can Learn from Adam Sandler. (I had seen him on the sideline of an NBA highlight). I enjoyed writing this and thought it would really take off. I linked to outside sources. I referenced movies. This post was viewed 8 times LESS than the one above.
Was it because Garth is better than Adam?
Is one better written than the other?
Was it the time of day? Could it be the day?
What was the reason that one of them took off…and the other did not? The honest answer–after 6 months of doing this every day–is I have no idea. I think this is a strange little mind game that holds people back. They just don’t know what is going to work. So they think about it. Then they think about it some more. Then they talk about it and plan about it…and do nothing. This question of whether it is going to work creates a “paralysis by analysis.”
They literally “think” themselves out of taking action.
What I have learned from this exercise of writing every day is we need to do just the opposite. We need to lean into action, precisely because we don’t know what is going to work! That consistency of taking action is what will create the outcome we are looking for. It’s not the one action. It’s the many.
*In sales, we don’t make the sales call because it’s not the right time of day, week, year, etc. But you don’t know. So you might as well make the call.
*In fitness, we don’t start working out because we are going to wait for the next new workout plan. Just get on the treadmill.
You get the idea. Will it work? Will it fail? Will this be the magic video that goes viral? The answer, if we are honest, is we don’t know. Will this be the blog that has an impact and creates a mindset of change for you? I don’t know. So I will hit publish to find out.
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by Kirby Hasseman
If you had told me, when I was first watching Billy Madison, that I was watching one of the most bankable movie stars of the next 20 years, I would not have believed you. Adam Sandler was silly, obnoxious, absurd and, well, funny. But I did not see this as an act someone could ride for more than one movie or two.
I would have been wrong. Way wrong.
For years, Adam Sandler has made movies and money at the box office. He has had some really fun movies (Happy Gilmore, Waterboy and Grown ups) and he has made some bad ones (think Grown ups 2). But whether you like Sandler or not, I think he has several things to teach us about business.
Do What You Do: Sandlers first movies were obviously not Academy Award winners. But he found a formula that worked, and he stuck to it. He was the goofy underdog that overcomes in the end. Then, obviously a sports lover, he started making silly movies about sports. He found his niche, and did not try to be something he was not.
Lesson: Find your niche. Be authentic.
Have A Crew: One thing that always catches my eye with Sandler movies, is he has a consistent group of friends that he works with. Sure, he is obviously buddies with Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James. But his other cast of characters comes with him on nearly every project too. When you have a crew you enjoy working with (and trust), keep working with them!
Lesson: Find a team you trust…and stick with them.
Be Willing To Fail: Though I enjoy some of Sandler’s movies, he has certainly has had some stinkers (Jack and Jill and Little Nicky come to mind). But each of these has involved him trying something and taking some creative risks. The fact is, once people hit a certain level of success, many people don’t want to try something new. They don’t want to fail. I love that Sandler is willing to try some off the wall things. They either work, or they don’t. But he is already off to something new.
Lesson: Take creative risks. Failure is not the end of the world.
Let Others Shine: As I mentioned, Sandler clearly likes working with friends. He has even created a production company that produces movies that he is not even in! He lets some of his other friends take the lead and showcase their talents whether he is involved on screen or not.
Lesson: You don’t always have to be center stage. Let others have the spotlight.
Be Willing to Branch Out: Once he established himself in Hollywood, I like that Sandler did do some more family friendly movies. Though he still has his core characters, he has done some movies that the whole family can enjoy.
Lesson: Once you have a track of success, continue to grow. The most successful people, in any arenas, can teach us lessons we can emulate. Adam Sandler has created an amazing career that nearly anyone could envy. And best of all, it seems like he enjoys it too. Bravo.
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by Kirby Hasseman
My awesome wife (yes my wife is the best) bought me tickets to go see Garth Brooks in concert for Christmas. So I was lucky enough to be among the thousands of fans to see him in Pittsburgh recently. The show was truly outstanding. Whether you are a fan of his music or not, Garth puts on a show to remember. What an entertainer!
But it got me thinking, “What can I take away from this? What can I learn?” So here is what I came up with…5 Lessons to Learn from a Garth Brooks Concert!
The Power of the Wink: Gary Vaynerchuk actually talks about this concept. Garth understands that there is a huge amount of power in making each person in the stadium feel special. He runs around the stage so he spends time really singing and engaging with each section. He waves at individuals, slaps hands, and spends real moments that will create raging fans for life.
Lesson: Each customer matters…do you make them feel special?
Do More: The show was amazing. At the end of the event, I was tired! We had gone on a journey and stood and sang along. We had laughed and cried and screamed. And all I could think was, “He is going to do this again…tonight!” Garth scheduled two shows at 6:30pm and 10:30pm. Now that is ambitious.
Lesson: Want to grow your business? Do more than most people think is reasonable.
Bring The Energy: The reason I was so amazed that he was going to do this twice was, the level of energy he brought to the show was off the charts! He ran around and sang and screamed and (it seemed) had a great time. The audience responded to his passion by screaming louder (which I am sure fed his energy again).
Lesson: Your energy can really be contagious…is yours worth catching?
Play The Favorites: Garth actually talked about this during the show. He said when you come to see your favorite entertainer, it’s okay to hear the “new stuff.” But you bought the ticket to hear the old favorites. He’s right. The same is true for your customers. If you won them over with fantastic service, don’t change that model if you grow. Do what you do best!
Lesson: Don’t lose sight of what makes you special.
Let Your Team Shine: Around the middle of the show, Garth brought out his wife Trisha Yearwood to the stage. She is a talented entertainer in her own right and she did several great tunes from her career. In addition, both Trisha and Garth took the backseat as they welcomed one of their back-up singers to to front of the stage. She had written one of the songs Trisha was performing so they let her sing lead (and she was awesome). It was a cool moment for her and it made you like Garth and Trisha even more.
Lesson: Don’t be afraid to let your team members take the spotlight sometimes! It makes you look good.
What a show! If you get the chance to see it, I recommend it. And if you do (or if you have already seen him) let me know what lessons I missed! Remember…Sail Your Vessel!
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