My wife recently shared a post on Facebook to celebrate something (that she felt) was a positive thing in our community. It was a picture of a few leaders in the local Rotary Club making a substantial donation to multiple local non-profit organizations. She is a member of the Rotary club, so I am sure there was pride mixed in with her excitement about good being done in the community.
She saw this as a completely positive (apolitical) post, so she was a bit surprised when there was pushback. Assuming there was some misunderstanding, she tried to alleviate that with a response about the good programs being affected and where the money went. It did not help…so she let it go.
But I think it raises a challenge in our current outrage culture. It made me want to take a moment and “say this out loud.”
If someone posts a picture of a local organization (that represents more than 75 local leaders) donating thousands of dollars to multiple local non-profit organizations with the intent of helping grow and develop the community, and your initial response is to crap on that post, maybe you are part of the problem.
It raises a point that I first heard in this amazing graduation speech by Tim Minchin. It’s worth watching the whole speech as Minchin gives 9 lessons on having a happier life. But I want to focus on just one today.
What are you FOR?
Many of us today define ourselves by what we are against. We are outraged by the latest politician, corporate greed, sexism, racism, ageism, or whatever the latest scandal catches the headlines. We wring our hands and shake our fists and shout (usually via keyboard) about the latest injustice that is happening. We are anti-one thing and pissed off by another thing until it seems we are against everything. It creates an angry and unproductive attitude that only creates more anger and frustration.
So, as Minchin suggests, what if we started to define ourselves by what we are FOR? What if we spent our energy thinking of things we want to be involved in or wanted to support or cheer on? What if we spent that time advocating ideas that we were passionate about? I think you would find that it would be more productive, but it would also make you happier.
On the other hand, it’s not just about what you are FOR. And that leads me to the next question.
What will you DO?
It’s great that you have a cause that you are excited about. At the very least, it’s a more productive mindset to have. But that’s just the first step. Now it’s a question of what are you willing to do? Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is? Are you willing to start that business, donate to that cause or contribute your time or talent to that non-profit? It’s not about thinking happy thoughts. It’s about being wiling to roll up your sleeves and do the work. That’s where the magic happens.
So before you make that next snarky comment, post that next tweet or send your next harshly worded email, take a moment to decide what you are FOR. Not only can you actually make a difference that matters, you will also (likely) be more happy and fulfilled in the process.
I always tell people that I know when I need a vacation. It’s when the things that normally don’t bother me start to make me angry. It might be an insensitive statement, a bad driver, a slow person in line for food, or an unintended slight on my community. For the most part, these are not worthy of any level of rage. But sometimes, these start to add up and I want to unload on someone. That’s when I look in the mirror and realize, it might be time for a break.
Last week was one of those weeks.
Don’t get me wrong, there was nothing terrible. It was just a lot of little annoyances that started to add up. I even got to the point where I was ranting a bit in my office. I went so far as to record it and prepared to unleash my fury onto the unsuspecting world. Then I took a breath. I sent the video to a few trusted friends and said, “What do you think? Should I post this?” One of them, as you might suspect was my wife.
Her response? “Please don’t post that.”
I am glad I didn’t.
For me, though it feels therapeutic to unload when I am angry, it almost never ends well. (It’s one of the reasons to stop complaining). Without fail, I say something that I don’t mean. Or, often because I am frustrated, I say it without the context that I want. I hurt someone’s feelings. I alienate someone. You get the idea. And in my experience, once I say it, I almost never get the chance to take it back.
That is why I think some of the best decisions happen when I decide what NOT to say.
Sure, I could get it off my chest. I could “give them a piece of my mind.” But as I like to say: Complaining is like vomiting. It makes you feel better and everyone around you sick.
That will be my mantra this week. Take a deep breath. Gain perspective. And remember that not every idea that pops in your head needs to come out of your mouth.
It’s time for Episode 22 of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing! This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing! We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!
On this episode we talk about…
Trending Topic
This week Kirby and Amy talk about the reason you should (and should not) buy local. It’s not a moral obligation. Amy tells the story of an example when buying local simply can give better service. Listen in and give us your thoughts!
Weekly Whirlwind
This week in the Weekly Whirlwind Amy talks about the progress (and some lack of progress) at the building project and what has been really stressing her out over the last week or so!
Lesson In Life
This week Kirby and Amy discuss the idea of communication. Most leaders think they are good communicators. Most employees think communication is bad. What is the disconnect? Kirby and Amy dig into the concept of “over-communicating.” Is that a thing?
Shout Outs
Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work. This week Amy talks about the heroes of this time of year…teachers! Most of our kids are heading back to school…so big shout out to those that are working with them every day. Kirby gives a shout out to his buddy Bill Petrie. Bill has been hard at work on a new program called PromoMBA, and Kirby points out the big difference between ideas and execution.
So that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening to Episode 22 of the He Said She Said Podcast! Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value! If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.
There are so many ways that technology has changed our world for the better. We can communicate with nearly anyone around the world. We can shop anytime. We can donate to causes from our kitchen. We have the ability to click a button and have things delivered to our phone instantly, or to our front door in a day or two. It truly is an amazing time we live in!
The one thing I see as a detriment to this “overnight delivery” culture that we live in, is a pure lack of patience for anything.
In other words, despite the fact that we live in a “microwave society” many things that matter to us need to be cooked in the crock pot.
Things that matter take time. Change can be difficult. As a matter of fact, real progress takes pain (like I said here). Here are some basic examples.
If you want to change your fitness level, it will not happen overnight. It will take months of real work.
Want to start a sales career? Get ready for a year to 18 months of building trust and relationships.
Want to have a relationship that lasts? The foundation will not be created overnight on twitter.
It’s simple…but not easy. The things that really matter in your life take time and work. They take consistent effort. And yes, they take patience.
This does not mean you shouldn’t start now! As Seth Godin once told me, “The best time to plant a tree is 40 years ago. The 2nd best time is now.” If you have something in your life that is worth working for, now is a great time get to work on it. Just know that it will take time. That time won’t make it worth less. It will make it worth more.
You aren’t creating something in the microwave. You are simmering your project in the crockpot. Bon Appetit!
Make sure you be a part of what we are cooking! Join our VIP list. We send out one email per week with all of our content in one place. You can sign up for that here. Also, if you want to learn more about Hasseman Marketing, check out our about us page here.
I went to bed at a normal time, but woke up around 2am to noises with one of the dogs. It startled me a bit. Then I went to get the dog, and he ran from me. By the time I wrangled him and put him in my bed, my mind had officially reached the “I’m awake” zone. You know the place. It’s where, despite your fervent desire to go back to sleep, your thoughts come flooding into your brain like a tsunami.
And 2am thoughts are very rarely (for me) the happy go lucky thoughts. They are the doom and gloom. At 2am every thought is stressful. Every thought reminds you of something you should have done or something you should not have said. My thoughts, in these nights of fitful sleep, are a highlight reel of horror.
Have you ever noticed how big these problems feel in the middle of the night?
Needless to say, after that night of frustrating sleep, I struggled to get up this morning. But once I did convince myself to get out of bed (and I made my first cup of coffee) things started to look up. The problems, that seemed so large at 2am, don’t seem quite so daunting. Make no mistake, there are still problems and challenges. They just don’t seem so hopeless in the morning.
I often wonder why that is.
Sometimes I think it’s because, in the morning, I start to look at these challenges with a bias towards action. Yes, I still have things I need to face. But once I am up (and have put my big boy pants on) I get to do something about them! I like that. It feels productive.
But I think the change also happens in my mind. I change the highlight reel. In the middle of the night, that highlight reel is filled with anxiety. In the morning, I start thinking about what I can do about it. Once my mental highlight reel changes, my attitude changes with it.
What is your highlight reel showing you? How can you change it?
We live in a world where it seems like everything is moving at lightening speed…and getting faster. We have more to do, and seemingly, less time to get it all done. With that in mind, most of us are looking to be more productive. We don’t need to be more busy. We need to get more done. That need to get more done (and be more happy) is the inspiration behind the series START & STOP!
Each time on START & STOP, I give viewers and listeners one thing they should start doing and one thing they should stop if they want to be more productive. On this episode we tackle the topic of Gratitude and Excuses.
START a Habit of Gratitude
We have a formula backwards in our culture today. We think that if we work hard and achieve success, then we will be happy. Studies will tell you that is not true. Instead, if you are happy and you work hard, you are more likely to succeed. But how can you “be happy?” The answer is simple. Be grateful. You cannot be grateful and negative at the same time! In order to start being more grateful, start a 30 day gratitude challenge. Every day, send one thank you note to someone. At first it will be easy. But as time goes on, you will have to start looking for reasons to be thankful. As you look for it, you will start to see more good in the world. It’s a powerful exercise (even if you have already done it). If you want to be more productive, start a habit of gratitude!
STOP Making Excuses
This week I want encourage you to STOP making excuses. It’s time to take responsibility for every thing in your life! If something goes wrong, assume it’s your fault. This is not about playing the martyr. It’s about looking at every challenge as a chance to learn and grow. When you take responsibility for everything, it can be very empowering. If you want to be more productive (and happy), stop making excuses.
