by Kirby Hasseman
One question I get regularly is “how do you stay positive?”
Most of the time I struggle to really answer this question. There are several reasons why. 1. I don’t always “feel” positive. I have the same negative voices that everyone has. They are constantly in my head, reminding me of my failures and frustrations. 2. It’s who I am.
On the other hand, I have been working on being more positive for a long time. At this point, I don’t know if it’s genetic, or if it comes from a long focus. But it is (now) my default position. So it’s a little bit like asking someone “why do you like food, or running, or whatever?” The answer is often, “I don’t know, I just do.”
With that being said, I was thinking about this question the other day and realized that I do one thing that does help me set my mind right first thing in the morning. The concept is simple and foundational. Just like in a house, the foundation of your day is super important. It doesn’t matter what your house looks like. It might be straight out of a movie. The house might be huge and have all of the amenities in the world. But it doesn’t matter if you have heated floors, huge windows and a 5 car garage, if your foundation is not done right, that house will crumble.
The same is true for your day.
That’s why it’s so critical for me to own the first 60 seconds. Most people wake up and immediately start to relive yesterday. They look back at the stresses and failures of yesterday and their heart starts to race. Their mind starts to fill with dread and stress and BOOM…you are done. You are living in the past. The day is no longer yours. (The same is true if you immediately jump to the stresses of the upcoming day). I have those voices too. But when I feel that stress start to flood my mind when I first awake, I do two things.
1. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.
2. Then I go through a simple gratitude exercise.
I think of the things in my life that I am grateful for or excited about. They might be my daughters or my co-workers or my wife or my bed. They might be projects at work, or people who have helped me. Whatever. I take a full minute to try and re-calibrate my mind and get it ready to attack the day with a different, more productive, mindset. For me, this is the foundation of the day. So try it for the next week and let me know how it works for you. Set the right foundation and the rest of your day will improve.
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by Kirby Hasseman
As humans, we have a very specific problem. Well maybe not ALL humans. This just applies to the ones that want to evolve and grow and change. And the fact that you are reading a blog, tells me you are one of “those people.” The problem has to do with Certainty and unCertainty.
As humans we are constantly looking to create certainty in our lives. We want to create the airtight plans. We want to select the “best” way to do something. We really want to know the outcome of any endeavor before we actually take the leap. If we can’t know and predict success (with certainty), many of us don’t want to take action at all.
The problem, of course, starts with this; there is no certainty. In no area of life is there really certainty. We cannot predict the future. We don’t know how long we are going to live. We can’t ensure the gamble will work. We can’t ever be totally certain…of anything. We are chasing a ghost.
Ironically the only thing that is really certain…is uncertainty.
Here’s the other thing, uncertainty is where the magic happens. If you want to learn anything new, that comes in the land of uncertainty. If you want to level up at work, there is no specific path that guarantees success. If you want to create a business, write a book, run a marathon, or date the person of your dreams, you are going to have to willingly and earnestly lean into an area that will be completely uncertain.
So that’s the paradox. We seek a level of certainty that is unattainable. We avoid the uncertainty, because it makes us uncomfortable. But our personal and professional growth comes when we embrace the uncertainty of life…and lean in.
Take the leap. Make the call. Put in the work. It might not work. The outcome is not certain. And that, my friends, is perfect.
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by Kirby Hasseman
In a staff meeting this week I was talking to the team about GOALS. As many of us start to wind down the year, it’s a great time to be introspective.
How did your year go? Did you do the things you wanted to do? Did you move toward your goals? I talked about the 1 thing holding many people back here.
In addition, I spent a bit of time talking about my thoughts on big goals. I believe you should stretch yourself. These big goals are not Pass/Fail. Read more on that here. But there is one thing that I don’t think we talk about enough when we talk about goal-setting.
If you want a well-rounded life, you should probably have well-rounded goals.
Most of us have goals that center around two areas; finance and fitness. Though those are both important areas, they are not the only ones. That’s why I talk about the 5 F’s of Goal Setting. Finance, Fitness, Family, Faith, and Fun. If you want a well-rounded set of goals (and a well-rounded year), this is a good list to start with.
Finance: This time of goal might center around how much money you want to make, how much you want to save or the sales number you want to achieve.
Fitness: Do you want to lose 10lbs? Want to run a half marathon? Maybe you just want to improve your diet. These are all great and they fall here.
Family: This is the place where I remind myself that I want to spend time with those that I love. Do I want to have a date night with my bride? Do I want to do something specific with my girls?
Faith: Do you want to give more? Do you want to get involved and volunteer? How can you make an impact in this area?
Fun: Yes…I think this area is important too. And it’s great if a few of these might overlap. For example, if you want to take a great family vacation, that might cover two of the five “f’s.”
This is not a comprehensive list. But it’s a great start to getting you thinking about creating a year that you will be excited to live. Now let’s get them on paper! Oh…and if you want to dig deeper on goals, we have created a FREE course on goal setting here.
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by Kirby Hasseman
Tis the season! What season? The holidays? Well, sure. But this time of year is Goal-setting season!
It’s that time of year that many people sit down and take a hopeful look to the New Year. I am a big believer in goal setting, so I encourage that. As a matter of fact, I ask that all of my team do the same. But there is one common mistake I see people making that (I think) is holding them back.
They don’t write them down.
Many people will tell you they have goals. Studies will tell you that writing them down has impressive results. But again and again, I run into people that do no write them down. Why not? I could rack it up to laziness. They just don’t want to take the time. Maybe. I could say it is a lack of belief. They just don’t believe the studies that tell you it works.
That could be it…but I don’t think so.
I think the reason people don’t write their goals and dreams down is one simple reason. They are afraid to fail. Once you write your goal down, then it’s out there. Once you get specific, there is a chance it might not work. Once you share it with someone, you might embarrass yourself. I think it’s that simple fact that is holding people back from writing down (and sharing) their goals. And when you don’t write down your goals, it holds you back from accomplishing them.
So let’s address that quickly.
First things first, big goals are not Pass/Fail. I talk about that here. You can set a goal that stretches you. You have to give yourself permission to dream a bit. In addition, when you write down your goal (and you get specific), you can start to think about “how.” How will you get there? What steps do you need to take? What are you going to DO to get there? These little steps are what will take you to your dream. So let’s start today and write down your goals.
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by Kirby Hasseman
“How could they say that?” We have all been there. We are in a conversation (or a situation) with someone we like, and then something unexpected happens. They do something, or say something, outside of what we think they should. It catches us off guard, of course.
Then what do WE do? We assume the worst.
We start with a litany of thoughts that take us down a rabbit hole. Thoughts start racing through your mind like…
She is just rude!
He has never really liked me!
This is why I don’t have friends! They never do what they say they are going to do.
You get the idea. Our brain takes off with the worst case scenario and creates an untenable situation for us and our offenders. But is any of it really true? Did they really mean to offend you? Were they really trying to snub you? They might have been.
On the other hand, it might have been a situation that was created only in your mind.
What if we do the opposite? What if we work to train ourselves to be intentional when our brain gets hijacked with this train of negativity? What if we assume the best? Many of your relationships are in your life for a reason. They are people who care about you…and you them. Most of them likely want the best for you, right? Why don’t we assume THAT?
Instead of letting your thoughts get away from you, stop.
Take a breath and replace those thoughts with something like…
I always know where I stand with her!
She always tells me what I need to hear.
I love that he looks out for me.
They are doing the best they can.
You get the idea. Don’t beat yourself up. The brain has a natural tendency to skew toward negativity. That ability has helped to keep us alive for thousands of years. But in today’s world, it does not often serve our happiness. So today, let’s break the negative thought train. Today, when something goes differently than you expect, do yourself a favor.
Assume the best.
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by Kirby Hasseman
When I am not sure what to write about, and more importantly, what to think about, I think about what makes me grateful.
As I have said before, you cannot be negative or angry when you are grateful. So when I am stressed, or anxious or frustrated, I take a deep breath and go through this exercise. It usually only takes me a few minutes to get my mental state back on track.
Here are a few things that go through my mind when I do this.
1. My wife: I am incredibly lucky to have Amy in my life. She truly does make me want to be better. As I think about blessings in my life, she is at the top of the list.
2. My girls, Skylar and Jade: These two make me super proud. I love the young ladies they are growing into. Their journey has just begun.
3. My family: All of my family have been super supportive of me throughout my life. I am forever grateful for that.
4. The Hasseman Marketing team (yes that includes Robbie too): I can’t believe the great group we have put together here. Last night we had our holiday party…what a fun group. I am excited about what we are creating together.
5. My Coshocton County friends: What a great group of people! These are the folks that would help me out (in an instant) if needed.
6. My Promo industry friends: These folks inspire me to be better in my profession.
7. My heroes that inspire me: Though I don’t “know” these people, I watch them from afar and they get me fired up to do better in many areas of my life.
8. My health: I am so blessed to be healthy.
9. My home: Speaking of blessed, I love the place I have to rest and relax.
10. The giving spirit of Coshocton County: It’s so cool to see this small community rally together whenever there is a need.
11. Newpointe Community Church: I feel like this church has come to Coshocton just when it was needed. It’s been great for me for sure.
12. Local Leaders: I totally love the level of collaboration that is going on in Coshocton County right now. It’s at a level I have never seen. As a side note, our own Port Authority Director, Tiffany Swigert was in Washington D.C. this week. Here is a clip of her talking with Leaders there. You can hear her at about 1:06 in.
13. Industry leaders: The marketing conversation has been elevated (or at least it is being elevated) because the leaders in the industry are helping to make it happen. Let’s keep that going.
14. My puppies: When they are not pooping and peeing…they are fun.
15. The Drone: I am happy we tracked the drone down after a recent adventure. You can see that adventure here. As you can see, this is a woefully incomplete list. But it’s a start. It’s a place I can go to get my head back on straight. What does your list look like? Make sure you never miss an update! It’s time to become a VIP! I would be grateful for that. Sign up here.
