I went to bed at a normal time, but woke up around 2am to noises with one of the dogs. It startled me a bit. Then I went to get the dog, and he ran from me. By the time I wrangled him and put him in my bed, my mind had officially reached the “I’m awake” zone. You know the place. It’s where, despite your fervent desire to go back to sleep, your thoughts come flooding into your brain like a tsunami.
And 2am thoughts are very rarely (for me) the happy go lucky thoughts. They are the doom and gloom. At 2am every thought is stressful. Every thought reminds you of something you should have done or something you should not have said. My thoughts, in these nights of fitful sleep, are a highlight reel of horror.
Have you ever noticed how big these problems feel in the middle of the night?
Needless to say, after that night of frustrating sleep, I struggled to get up this morning. But once I did convince myself to get out of bed (and I made my first cup of coffee) things started to look up. The problems, that seemed so large at 2am, don’t seem quite so daunting. Make no mistake, there are still problems and challenges. They just don’t seem so hopeless in the morning.
I often wonder why that is.
Sometimes I think it’s because, in the morning, I start to look at these challenges with a bias towards action. Yes, I still have things I need to face. But once I am up (and have put my big boy pants on) I get to do something about them! I like that. It feels productive.
But I think the change also happens in my mind. I change the highlight reel. In the middle of the night, that highlight reel is filled with anxiety. In the morning, I start thinking about what I can do about it. Once my mental highlight reel changes, my attitude changes with it.
What is your highlight reel showing you? How can you change it?
We live in a world where it seems like everything is moving at lightening speed…and getting faster. We have more to do, and seemingly, less time to get it all done. With that in mind, most of us are looking to be more productive. We don’t need to be more busy. We need to get more done. That need to get more done (and be more happy) is the inspiration behind the series START & STOP!
Each time on START & STOP, I give viewers and listeners one thing they should start doing and one thing they should stop if they want to be more productive. On this episode we tackle the topic of Gratitude and Excuses.
START a Habit of Gratitude
We have a formula backwards in our culture today. We think that if we work hard and achieve success, then we will be happy. Studies will tell you that is not true. Instead, if you are happy and you work hard, you are more likely to succeed. But how can you “be happy?” The answer is simple. Be grateful. You cannot be grateful and negative at the same time! In order to start being more grateful, start a 30 day gratitude challenge. Every day, send one thank you note to someone. At first it will be easy. But as time goes on, you will have to start looking for reasons to be thankful. As you look for it, you will start to see more good in the world. It’s a powerful exercise (even if you have already done it). If you want to be more productive, start a habit of gratitude!
STOP Making Excuses
This week I want encourage you to STOP making excuses. It’s time to take responsibility for every thing in your life! If something goes wrong, assume it’s your fault. This is not about playing the martyr. It’s about looking at every challenge as a chance to learn and grow. When you take responsibility for everything, it can be very empowering. If you want to be more productive (and happy), stop making excuses.
I received a call a few weeks ago from a person looking for advice. They were trying to figure out the best way to communicate a delicate issue. It was important to get the message across, but they were concerned they might be overstepping their bounds. Should they talk to another colleague to help? Should they be subtle? Should they try and find a clever way to have the person “find out” the information?
My advice was simple. Don’t be creative. But clear. Get in front of the person and talk to them directly about the issue.
In this world of (seemingly) unlimited communication options, the choice can be overwhelming. Should I send an email? Should I text? Maybe I could message them on Facebook. Just like in the grocery store, when there are too many options, we often make no choice at all. So in a world where there are more communication tools than ever before, clear communication can often be missing.
The message is clear. If you want to have a real relationship, clear communication is critical. It’s why there are some many advantages to “seeing the people” in sales or starting a business. When you can actually speak directly to your customer, and see their real reaction, it is powerful.
Additionally, I am a believer in being clear with your ask. Gary Vaynerchuk talks about this in his book Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook. In this book, the Right Hook, was the ask. If you are going to sell…sell. Don’t try to make it look like you are not. The prospect or customer will see through it. If are trying to give value…just do that. Don’t mix the message.
If you want to give. Give.
If you want to sell. Just ask.
Remember. Clear is Kind.
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I love this story I heard a long time ago from Wayne Dyer. I am relating this from memory, but it goes something like this.
I was walking through my neighborhood this weekend enjoying a nice day, when a couple walked up to me.
They asked me “What are the people like here? We are interested in purchasing a home and moving here and we would like to know.”
I said, “Well, that depends. What are the people like where you live now?:
They replied quickly, “Oh, they are terrible. They talk about you behind your back. They are small minded and mean. They look for any reason to argue. It’s a struggle.”
“Ah,” I said. “That’s pretty much what you will find here.”
Then I wished them well and continued on the way on my walk. Soon, another couple came up to me with the same question.
They asked me “What are the people like here? We are interested in purchasing a home and moving here and we would like to know.”
I said, “Well, that depends. What are the people like where you live now?:
This couple replied quickly as well. “Oh, they are the best! Everyone looks out for one another! We have great neighborhood gatherings. It’s a great community. Honestly, we hate to leave!”
To that I replied, “That’s pretty much what you will find here.”
I think that story is so powerful. We all know people that find negativity and frustration everywhere they go. No matter who they are dealing with, it is a confrontation. On the other hand, there are probably people in your life that seem impervious to that sort of negativity. They seem to find the positive in each situation. They lift others up (both figuratively and literally). It reminds us that what we are seeing in our life now “that’s pretty much what you will find here.”
What you seek you shall find.
So when you understand that what you are looking for will expand in your life, in the words of Wayne Dyer, “you get really careful about what you are looking for!”
On this day, be intentional about what you seek out. Look for the best in other people. Look for the best in your work. Look for the best in you.
I feel confident in saying one thing. The world could use more kindness.
Kindness has always been important. But in a world where “everyone has a voice,” we certainly see voices that are unkind more often. People have an opportunity to spew hate whenever they want. Combine that with a 24 hour news cycle where (it seems) that the most mean spirited get rewarded with airtime, and it can seem the world is more divided than ever.
In that world, Kindness really is a superpower. So here are 3 Posts that remind us about the Power of Kindness.
Kindness Is A Super Power
We all want to make an impact. Most of us want to make the world a better place. I think that is why we like Super Hero movies. We love the idea that someone can “save the day.” It turns out you can. In this post, written in July of 2018, I talk about how each of us can be a Super Hero. We just have to be willing to put on the cape! Read more here.
Simple Acts of Kindness Matter
I often put off doing the “little things” because I don’t think they will matter. I don’t send that text because the person might be too busy. In this post, I hope you learn from a simple example. Simple Acts of Kindness do matter. Send the card. Send the text. Reach out. Read more here.
What Kind Words Can Do
Finally…from the mouths of babes. Last year, I got a note that really brightened my day. Sometimes, when we most need it, a simple message can help us to keep going. This was certainly the case with this note from a 6 year old named Bailey (and her mom). Thanks Bailey and Sarah! You can learn more about that here.
In each of these cases, the cost of entry is small. We think that if we want to change the world, we need to do something huge. But you can start today with a simple act.
It’s time for Episode 20 of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing! This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing! We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!
On this episode we talk about…
Trending Topic
This week Kirby and Amy talk about talk about the middle of August. Is it back to school season? Are we looking forward to the fall? It’s an interesting time of transition in seasons…and in life. Listen why here!
Weekly Whirlwind
This week in the Weekly Whirlwind we talk about Kirby being like a “kid at Christmas” when some really cool SWAG comes in. He is out Delivering #MarketingJoy this week. Oh…and you have a chance to get a t-shirt…just listen in! Oh…and you get a quick update from Amy on what is going on with her back and with the building!
Lesson In Life
This week Kirby and Amy talk how they get their day started off on the right foot. Do they have the same routine? Do they have a routine at all? Kirby and Amy discuss how they are similar and different on this topic!
Shout Outs
Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work. This week Amy gives her shout out the Coshocton County United Way. The campaign kicked off with the Taste of Coshocton event. Listen in about why she loves what the United Way is all about! Kirby talks about the upcoming Sunflower Festival and our very own Josh Williams who is going into the Leadership Coshocton program. Listen in about that now!
So that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening to Episode 20 of the He Said She Said Podcast! Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value! If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.
