by Kirby Hasseman
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. And most fools do.” Dale Carnegie
There is a disease that is rampant in our culture right now. It decreases our happiness and our productivity and it affects nearly all of the population (at times). We don’t know how or when it started, but we think it started with a decrease in gratitude. You can see the symptoms everywhere you look. It’s rampant.
It’s the disease of complaining.
Complaining is a destroyer of productivity…and a thief of joy. And here’s the thing, even the most joyful person struggles with this sometimes. We might even think it can be helpful! I hear all of the time, “I just need to vent!” The idea, of course being, if I just get this off my chest I will feel better.
But here’s a secret. It doesn’t help. Let’s dig into the reasons you should (try to) cut complaining out of your life immediately.
Complaining begets Complaining
I think one of the challenges with complaining is we think that it’s harmless. We think that we just get something off our chest and move on. But we don’t actually just move on. You see, complaining is just like anything else we do over and over in our brain. It creates a neural pathway. The more we do it, the more that pathway becomes stronger. So the more we complain, the more it becomes easier for our brain to create that as a habit. And just like any other habit, once we create that behavior, it is really hard to stop! So when you are think you are harmlessly venting, you are actually creating habit to make you a lifelong complainer.
It Actually Does NOT Help
So often, we complain or vent because we feel like if we “get it off our chests” we will feel better and help us move on. Studies are actually starting to show that is not the case. It seems that those that were allowed to complain or scream or punch a punching bag (all things designed to release frustration) actually made study participants MORE aggressive later. So the very thing you think is making you feel better, is likely making you more angry.
You Are Part of the 90%
Studies tell us that approximately 89% of the world around us is negative. We are surrounded by it. It’s the reason we have to be so intentional about being positive. So when you complain you just contribute to the muck.
It Doesn’t Fix the Problem
The problem I have with most complaining is that it is completely devoid of solution. Most people want to bitch and moan about the problems that they see in their company, family or community. But they really don’t want to do anything to make them better. They have no (real) suggestions, and if they do, they don’t want to actually work on them. That, my friends, is the definition of a waste of time.
Takes Us Away From the Present
In the book “Solve For Happy” Mo Gawdat talks about the importance of being in the present moment if you want to experience more joy. Gawdat points out that nearly all negative emotions in our lives are rooted in either the past or the future. We are angry about something that happened yesterday or worried about something that could happen tomorrow (go ahead, think about it). What this does is take us away from our present moment. The most positive and productive people do one thing really well. They live in the “now.”
Look, in the interest of transparency, this is really hard for me too. In many ways, complaining comes very natural to us all. You should not beat yourself up if you catch yourself doing this from time to time. But the important thing here is the phrase “from time to time.” It is really easy to take it from occasionally to always.
We all know that person that is mad if they cannot find something to be pissed off about!
It’s time to shine a light on complaining. It steals your happiness. If you want a simple trick to break the cycle, consider taking a gratitude challenge. When you find yourself “needing to vent,” take a breath and consider something that makes your grateful. It can replace that negative emotion with one that can give you joy.
Regardless of how you do it, it’s time to take action.
Stop. Complaining.
As always, if you want to stay on top of all of our content, head to our blog page here! And you can always join our VIP list. We send out an email each week with all of our content in one place. You can sign up for that here.
by Kirby Hasseman
It’s time for the 16th episode of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing! This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing! We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!
On this episode we talk about…
Trending Topic
This week Kirby and Amy talk about Nike’s decision to pull a new shoe from the market after criticism from Colin Kapernick. Kapernick reportedly felt the shoe, which had the Betsy Ross flag on it, was tied to slavery. Get Amy and Kirby’s take on this here.
Weekly Whirlwind
This week in the Weekly Whirlwind, Amy talks about getting Jade moved in, and some updates on the building. Kirby discusses what to do on a short week. Do you cram more in…or coast?
Lesson In Life
This week Kirby and Amy talk about what you do when you are “in a funk.” Everyone gets down sometimes. So what are some things to do when you find yourself in a rut. Kirby and Amy talk about what they do!
Shout Outs
Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work. This week Kirby talks about Volunteer Fire Fighters (and all first responders really). With the recent fire and flooding, so many people have been asked to step up. This was a big shout out to them. Amy talks about the upcoming Community Impact Day! Learn more about that here.
So that’s a wrap! We will be back…and we will continue to improve. Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value! If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.
Thanks so much for listening! If you have any topics you want Kirby and Amy to cover, please comment and let us know! Oh…and if you like this content, check out this page where you can find all of the content we create!
by Kirby Hasseman
One of the dangers of writing blogs, creating videos and recording podcasts about self-improvement is that you (and I) might come off as if I have it all figured out. When you spend time telling people how to improve their productivity, the voice in your head will be screaming at you “You think you know it all! You are a fake!” It’s possible that other people are thinking the same thing. So let me share a secret with you.
I am a work in progress.
I don’t have it all figured out. There are still many days that I struggle to be positive. There are lots of times I put off what I know I need to do. I certainly have days (or even weeks) when I feel lost. But having it all figured out is not really the point. For me, at least, it’s about constantly working to get better than I was yesterday.
I share many of these truths on this blog because I have read them in books or listened to them in podcasts and they have resonated with me. Sometimes my best source of content is simply a lesson I am personally currently struggling with. Sure, there are times when I share things from personal experience. But often, these come from mistakes I have made and want to improve from.
Like I said, I don’t have it all figured out.
But here’s the thing, most of us don’t. Most of us, at least the ones that are aspirational, are just trying to do the best we can to be the best we can. We want to do just a little better than we did the day before. As Dave Ramsey would say “We are trying to live like no one else, so that some day we can live like no one else!” And when we do that, I think most of us have “that voice” in our head nagging at us to tell us we are not good enough.
Stop listening to it. Give yourself some grace. You are not perfect.
We are all a work in progress. And that’s okay.
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by Kirby Hasseman
When I set a goal for myself, I know there is one thing that weighs heavily on whether or not I succeed. It goes back to this blog I wrote about keeping promises to yourself. The one thing that determines whether or not I am able to push forward is the answer to this question:
What do I do when no one is watching?
Sure, accolades are amazing. Recognition is important. But nearly all progress is made in the mundane, every day chores that further us and grow us. This is true in nearly every area of our lives.
Want to grow your sales? This starts with making the cold calls and prospect contacts that we don’t always want to make.
Want to be more fit? It comes from the mornings when you don’t feel like putting in the work, but you do it anyway.
Want to be more skilled at your craft? You know that is comes from putting in the work while others are out padding their social calendars.
But don’t be mistaken. The results don’t happen overnight.
Your reality today is made up of the work you did 30 to 60 days ago. When we do those little things, over and over, we plant seeds that will grow down the road. Those sales calls rarely bare fruit that same day. It takes time to cultivate those relationships. The push ups you did this morning do not make you fit today. It’s just a foundational piece that will show up down the road.
Once you know that, it makes you think differently about the activities you are doing today. Are you being intentional by doing the little things now? Are you working to create what you want in your life? Are you willing to do the work?
No one is paying attention now.
So what are you doing when no one is watching?
Make sure you never miss a post! Check out our blog page here. Oh…and you can sign up for our VIP newsletter here!
by Kirby Hasseman
It’s time for the 14th episode of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing! This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing! We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!
On this episode we talk about…
Trending Topic
This week Kirby and Amy talk about the sudden flooding in the Coshocton County area. Listen in on the update about the area…and stay tuned for ways we might be able to help.
Weekly Whirlwind
This week in the Weekly Whirlwind, Amy talks about making small progress on the building project…and waiting for the final decision on grant funding. Kirby talks about an email hack…and working to get back to normal.
Lesson In Life
This week Kirby and Amy call an “audible” on the Lesson. Instead of jumping into a lesson, they talk about the upcoming Community Improvement Day. The event started with Newpointe Community Church but is branching out. Listen in to learn more about the project and how you might be able to get involved.
Shout Outs
Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work. This week Kirby talks about the Pomerene Center Art Park…and a recent staff meeting there! Amy talks about Camp Invention. This is a great program that happens each year. Listen in to learn more...or head here.
So that’s a wrap! We will be back…and we will continue to improve. Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value! If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.
Thanks so much for listening! If you have any topics you want Kirby and Amy to cover, please comment and let us know! Oh…and if you like this content, check out this page where you can find all of the content we create!
by Kirby Hasseman
After what was an intense and emotional month of May, I felt like I had fallen in a bit of rut. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just wasn’t “feeling it.” I was tired and lacked some purpose. I chalked it up to the past six weeks, and the transitions that my family were going through.
After all, my oldest daughter, Skylar, left at the first of May to chase her dreams of becoming a professional dancer. Scratch that. She is a professional dancer. She is now onboard a Cruise ship in California performing. Amazing. My youngest daughter, Jade, just graduated high school and is getting ready to move out (in the next couple of weeks) and start school in Columbus. In the midst of all of that, Amy and I were working to keep our businesses running, speaking, and hosting events as well. There was a good reason for feeling tired, right?
But I knew that wasn’t it.
In the midst of running through this time in our lives, I had made a few personal compromises. For 6 months last year, I was writing a blog on this website every single day. It was a challenge. But it was a rewarding (and sometimes therapeutic) activity for me personally. When I decided to stop doing it every day, I told myself I would write a couple of blogs a week. In reality, however, I had fallen out of the rhythm. In addition, I have made the commitment to writing a new book. I have started the process and have made good progress. I was writing regularly. Then, with this season, I stopped that too.
Though I can certainly give myself a break because things were hectic, I realized something very important. I started breaking my promises to myself. I knew it deep down. But it was really brought to my attention as I watched this interview. I had stopped keeping these small commitments to myself…and these broken promises were ruining my productivity.
I think this is true for any area of your life.
If you want to be more productive, lose more weight, sell more, start a podcast, or make any change in your life, it starts small.
Start by making a small commitment to yourself. Then keep that promise.
When you can start by making that small promise, and follow through, you create a sense of accomplishment. When you can keep that promise, day in and day out, you create momentum. As you create momentum (on just that small promise) you create progress toward your goal.
So if you want to make progress toward any goal in your life, make a small promise to yourself. Then keep that promise…again and again.
To learn more about this concept, spend the time and watch this great interview with Chris Powell, Heidi Powell and Ed Mylett. And make sure you never miss any content. You can find it all here on our blog. And of course you can always sign up to be a VIP here.
