by Kirby Hasseman
There is a powerful story from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People where Steven Covey was speaking to a group. After the talk, a man came up to Mr. Covey and said “My wife and I are close to a divorce. We just don’t love each other anymore. What should I do?”
Covey told the man, “You need to LOVE her.”
The man was confused. “But you don’t understand,” he said. “We just don’t FEEL that way anymore.”
Covey explained, “That’s the problem. Love is not a feeling. Love is an action.” Covey went onto explain that the husband needed to get back to taking action in consistent with love. He needed to do things for her. He needed to serve her. He needed to LOVE her. It’s an action.
I was reminded about this at a church service recently when our pastor declared that “Compassion is NOT a feeling. It’s an action!” I agree. Way too many times in life, we feel things and hope that is enough. It almost never is. It is imperative, in nearly every area of our lives, to take more action. The thing that is holding most people back in their work, dreams, relationships, fitness and more…is action. Most of us dream about what we want. We think a lot about what others have that we don’t. We might even take the extra step and write down the sincere wishes we have in our life. Heck, we might even meditate or pray in hopes the universe will bring them to us!
What we don’t do is take action.
If we are not seeing enough change, we are not taking enough action.
So if you want your spouse to know that you love them…LOVE them. If you want your team to know you have compassion for them…SHOW them. If you want your community to know you care about it…GIVE something. It’s not about thoughts. It’s not about dreams. It’s about action. Take some.
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by Kirby Hasseman
It’s Monday. Many people start off the week with a feeling of dread. But it doesn’t have to be that way! How can you get your Monday (and ultimately your week) off on the right foot? Here are a few simple tips that will help you start to love Monday!
Own the First 60 Seconds: The fact is, most of us start our day living in the past. We wake up and are immediately worried about the actions of yesterday or the problems coming up. That’s no formula for happiness or success. Take a deep breath and bring yourself into the now. Read more about this here.
Have a Good Routine: We all have routines that govern our life. Studies will tell you that between 60% and 70% of the decisions you make each day are on auto-pilot. So spend some time to create routines that serve you. Drink water. Exercise. Read. Whatever feeds your brain and your soul. Make that a part of your every day. Put IN Some Good: Which leads you to get some sources of inspiration that help to feed that brain first thing in the morning. My sources include Gary Vaynerchuck, Seth Godin, Ed Mylett and more. But if you need another, check out my Youtube Channel and subscribe. Our goal is to provide some education and inspiration as well!
Push Out Some Good: Another great way to get your mindset kicked off in the right direction is to simply do some good first thing. For me, it might be writing a blog post. My creative juices get flowing and I hope to affect some positive change. It might be sending a thank you card or email or text. Push out some good…it will make you feel great!
Chart a Course For Action: Now it’s time to be intentional. Don’t just let the day happen to you. Spend some time and chart a few things you want to get done today. Creating a short list of “must do’s” can help keep you on track when the whirlwind of the day hits! It’s time to take Monday back! Try a few of these simple steps to get you off on the right foot to attack your week! Now…let’s go do this!
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by Kirby Hasseman
One question I get regularly is “how do you stay positive?”
Most of the time I struggle to really answer this question. There are several reasons why. 1. I don’t always “feel” positive. I have the same negative voices that everyone has. They are constantly in my head, reminding me of my failures and frustrations. 2. It’s who I am.
On the other hand, I have been working on being more positive for a long time. At this point, I don’t know if it’s genetic, or if it comes from a long focus. But it is (now) my default position. So it’s a little bit like asking someone “why do you like food, or running, or whatever?” The answer is often, “I don’t know, I just do.”
With that being said, I was thinking about this question the other day and realized that I do one thing that does help me set my mind right first thing in the morning. The concept is simple and foundational. Just like in a house, the foundation of your day is super important. It doesn’t matter what your house looks like. It might be straight out of a movie. The house might be huge and have all of the amenities in the world. But it doesn’t matter if you have heated floors, huge windows and a 5 car garage, if your foundation is not done right, that house will crumble.
The same is true for your day.
That’s why it’s so critical for me to own the first 60 seconds. Most people wake up and immediately start to relive yesterday. They look back at the stresses and failures of yesterday and their heart starts to race. Their mind starts to fill with dread and stress and BOOM…you are done. You are living in the past. The day is no longer yours. (The same is true if you immediately jump to the stresses of the upcoming day). I have those voices too. But when I feel that stress start to flood my mind when I first awake, I do two things.
1. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.
2. Then I go through a simple gratitude exercise.
I think of the things in my life that I am grateful for or excited about. They might be my daughters or my co-workers or my wife or my bed. They might be projects at work, or people who have helped me. Whatever. I take a full minute to try and re-calibrate my mind and get it ready to attack the day with a different, more productive, mindset. For me, this is the foundation of the day. So try it for the next week and let me know how it works for you. Set the right foundation and the rest of your day will improve.
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by Kirby Hasseman
As humans, we have a very specific problem. Well maybe not ALL humans. This just applies to the ones that want to evolve and grow and change. And the fact that you are reading a blog, tells me you are one of “those people.” The problem has to do with Certainty and unCertainty.
As humans we are constantly looking to create certainty in our lives. We want to create the airtight plans. We want to select the “best” way to do something. We really want to know the outcome of any endeavor before we actually take the leap. If we can’t know and predict success (with certainty), many of us don’t want to take action at all.
The problem, of course, starts with this; there is no certainty. In no area of life is there really certainty. We cannot predict the future. We don’t know how long we are going to live. We can’t ensure the gamble will work. We can’t ever be totally certain…of anything. We are chasing a ghost.
Ironically the only thing that is really certain…is uncertainty.
Here’s the other thing, uncertainty is where the magic happens. If you want to learn anything new, that comes in the land of uncertainty. If you want to level up at work, there is no specific path that guarantees success. If you want to create a business, write a book, run a marathon, or date the person of your dreams, you are going to have to willingly and earnestly lean into an area that will be completely uncertain.
So that’s the paradox. We seek a level of certainty that is unattainable. We avoid the uncertainty, because it makes us uncomfortable. But our personal and professional growth comes when we embrace the uncertainty of life…and lean in.
Take the leap. Make the call. Put in the work. It might not work. The outcome is not certain. And that, my friends, is perfect.
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by Kirby Hasseman
In a staff meeting this week I was talking to the team about GOALS. As many of us start to wind down the year, it’s a great time to be introspective.
How did your year go? Did you do the things you wanted to do? Did you move toward your goals? I talked about the 1 thing holding many people back here.
In addition, I spent a bit of time talking about my thoughts on big goals. I believe you should stretch yourself. These big goals are not Pass/Fail. Read more on that here. But there is one thing that I don’t think we talk about enough when we talk about goal-setting.
If you want a well-rounded life, you should probably have well-rounded goals.
Most of us have goals that center around two areas; finance and fitness. Though those are both important areas, they are not the only ones. That’s why I talk about the 5 F’s of Goal Setting. Finance, Fitness, Family, Faith, and Fun. If you want a well-rounded set of goals (and a well-rounded year), this is a good list to start with.
Finance: This time of goal might center around how much money you want to make, how much you want to save or the sales number you want to achieve.
Fitness: Do you want to lose 10lbs? Want to run a half marathon? Maybe you just want to improve your diet. These are all great and they fall here.
Family: This is the place where I remind myself that I want to spend time with those that I love. Do I want to have a date night with my bride? Do I want to do something specific with my girls?
Faith: Do you want to give more? Do you want to get involved and volunteer? How can you make an impact in this area?
Fun: Yes…I think this area is important too. And it’s great if a few of these might overlap. For example, if you want to take a great family vacation, that might cover two of the five “f’s.”
This is not a comprehensive list. But it’s a great start to getting you thinking about creating a year that you will be excited to live. Now let’s get them on paper! Oh…and if you want to dig deeper on goals, we have created a FREE course on goal setting here.
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by Kirby Hasseman
Tis the season! What season? The holidays? Well, sure. But this time of year is Goal-setting season!
It’s that time of year that many people sit down and take a hopeful look to the New Year. I am a big believer in goal setting, so I encourage that. As a matter of fact, I ask that all of my team do the same. But there is one common mistake I see people making that (I think) is holding them back.
They don’t write them down.
Many people will tell you they have goals. Studies will tell you that writing them down has impressive results. But again and again, I run into people that do no write them down. Why not? I could rack it up to laziness. They just don’t want to take the time. Maybe. I could say it is a lack of belief. They just don’t believe the studies that tell you it works.
That could be it…but I don’t think so.
I think the reason people don’t write their goals and dreams down is one simple reason. They are afraid to fail. Once you write your goal down, then it’s out there. Once you get specific, there is a chance it might not work. Once you share it with someone, you might embarrass yourself. I think it’s that simple fact that is holding people back from writing down (and sharing) their goals. And when you don’t write down your goals, it holds you back from accomplishing them.
So let’s address that quickly.
First things first, big goals are not Pass/Fail. I talk about that here. You can set a goal that stretches you. You have to give yourself permission to dream a bit. In addition, when you write down your goal (and you get specific), you can start to think about “how.” How will you get there? What steps do you need to take? What are you going to DO to get there? These little steps are what will take you to your dream. So let’s start today and write down your goals.
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