by Kirby Hasseman
Have you ever told your brain to “Bring me another thought?” Here is a statement I have found to be true: “You cannot consistently act inconsistently with your thoughts.”
It is old wisdom that says, “As you think, you shall be.” It’s one of the reasons that I spend a lot of time and energy trying to manage the very beginning of my day. I find that most people spend a lot of their day living in the past or in the future. They are frustrated with yesterday or they are worried about tomorrow. This is not a happy way to live, and it’s not particularly productive either.
In his book, “Solve For Happy,” Mo Gawdat spends a great deal of time talking about this. He says that if you look at nearly every negative emotion in our life, you find a common theme. They are not rooted in the present moment. If you look at anger and frustration, for example, they are usually reminding us of something that happened yesterday. The tension of worry and anxiety usually come from projecting what might happen tomorrow. The past is over and the future is not (yet) real.
Unless you are in pain, Gawdat explains, the best way to be more joyful is to live in the present moment. I talk about living in the “IS” here.
Bring Me Another Thought
Another concept in the book that I found helpful was the idea that “we are not our thoughts.” Though we are flooded with thoughts all day long, we have the ability to separate from our thoughts. We don’t have to take every single thought that rolls through our head as “fact.” We get to choose. Gawdat says that when he finds that the thoughts in his head are negative and not helpful, he will simply say “Bring me another thought please.”
It may sound silly, but it is an intentional act where you take control of your thoughts again. At first, I was a bit uneasy about this idea, but I have found the act of saying these words out loud actually make me smile.
As I said, you cannot act inconsistently with your thoughts. If that’s the case, it’s time to choose better thoughts.
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by Kirby Hasseman
We all know that guy or gal. They have lots to say about an issue or an idea. They talk a big game. But when it comes to showing up and doing the work, they often seem to be absent.
These people frustrate us for many reasons. First off, many times, these folks seem to reek of high potential. You can see it. If they would just put in the work, they could be amazing. But they don’t seem willing to able to see the idea through to the end. It’s the reason there are countless memes that say “Hustle beats Talent.” They are inspirational for those of us (like me) who don’t have the most talent. They are also true.
The second reason this bothers us is because it shows they have a lack of integrity. People who are “all talk and no action” tell us they are going to do one thing, but their actions don’t match their words. They tell us how they are going to conquer the world, but then they binge watch Game of Thrones instead. It’s a choice. And this choice shows us what they really want. Their words lie to us, but their actions tell the truth.
And inevitably, when their bold predictions don’t come true, they play the blame game.
It can’t be their fault. The world was stacked against them. It was not the work that they did not do. It was just not fair.
And that leads me to Ex-NFL Quarterback Colin Kaepernick.
For those that don’t follow sports, Colin Kaepernick is a former NFL Quarterback. He led the San Francisco 49’ers to a Super Bowl appearance and was on his was to a stellar NFL career. To make a very long story short, he then decided to protest police brutality by kneeling for the National Anthem. He became a national lightning rod and, since then, has not been able to find work in the NFL. Like I said, I am making a long story short.
Kaepernick is a very talented athlete, that stood up (or rather kneeled) for what he believed. Whether you like Kaepernick or not (and he is incredibly polarizing), I love the idea that we are able to do that in the United States. So I was encouraged and intrigued when I heard that he NFL had created a “workout day” for Kaepernick to perform for any team interested in checking out if he could still play. Like many fans of the sport, I was curious to see how the workout went, and where Kaepernick might end up.
Alas, it was a workout that never actually happened. After weeks of planning, the NFL had 25 teams scheduled to come and see Kaepernick workout. About an hour and a half before the event, Kaepernick changed his mind and decided to hold his own workout about 60 minutes away. Only 7 or 8 teams came to the event. Afterward, Kaepernick came out and said the NFL needs to “stop running.” The whole thing was as confusing as it was frustrating.
Why? Because his actions do not match his words.
Kaepernick says he wants to play in the NFL again. He says he is being discriminated against. He even sued the NFL. But at the end of the day, there is a path to get back in the league and he continually doesn’t take it. Time after time, Kaepernick pokes the people he wishes to employ him in the eye. Regardless of your occupation, that is no way to get a job.
I think that is why many of us find Kaepernick so frustrating. I would love for him to succeed, but he is like that friend of ours. He has the talent and the ability. When you chat with him, he talks a big game. But when the time comes to “put up or shut up,” he fails to come through.
The lesson here stares us in the mirror. Many of us profess to want the big results in sales or business. But are you really willing to put in the work? Are you really ready to have your actions match your words? The good news and bad news is, it’s only up to you.
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by Kirby Hasseman
I remember being told when I was a teenager, “You would worry less about what people think of you if you realized how little they did.”
This is not an insult to how important YOU are, it’s just an important reminder that we all have a selfish human nature. Seth Godin writes about this in his blog today. That selfish human nature is not inherently bad. It just is. It’s the way we are. On the other hand, it gets me thinking about how useful that is. With everyone focused on their own interest, it gives you the chance to do these three things.
Helps To Silence “That Voice”
If most people are not paying attention, then you can ignore that voice inside your head that says that “everyone will laugh at you.” They won’t even notice you. You have the ability and permission to try new things and fail. You can stumble. You can struggle without the worry that everyone will turn down their nose. If you are willing to put in that work when no one is watching, then they might take notice when you come out on the other side.
Let People Off The Hook (when not listening)
We often get frustrated with other people when they don’t seem to care as much about our project as we do. It must be important, right? We love it! We worked so hard on it. Understanding that everyone is working on their own life, project and world will give you the grace to forgive them. They don’t care as much about your project as you do…and that’s ok. If you work hard and long enough on your project, the people that are truly interested in your passion will show up.
Attention is Kindness
I believe that Kindness can be a Superpower. And if we understand that most people don’t really notice you at all (unless you are in front of them) then you can be kind in a different way. Show people attention. Give them your time. Smile. Look them in the eye. Notice them. In a world that is starved for kindness, giving people your attention can be an act of kindness in itself.
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by Kirby Hasseman
It’s time for Episode 27 of the He Said/She Said Podcast with Hasseman Marketing! This podcast is designed to give an inside look at being married and being entrepreneurs and the projects we are working on and the challenges we are facing! We talk about business, family, community and more. So listen in and let us know what you think!
On this episode we talk about…
Trending Topic
This week Kirby and Amy take on a VERY important topic. When is too soon to start celebrating the Christmas season? It’s a hard hitting topic…and they pull no punches. 🙂
Weekly Whirlwind
This week in the Weekly Whirlwind Kirby talks about what happens when an employee leaves. One of our employees took another job and they discuss what that means inside Hasseman Marketing. Amy talks about the slow progress in the building and how frustrating that can be.
Lesson In Life
This week in the “lesson in life” Kirby and Amy talk about what they do when they (inevitably) hit a wall or get burn out. Kirby discusses getting back to his “why.” Amy talks about the need to physically recharge. How do you get back on track?
Shout Outs
Each week we want to give a shout out to an organization or an individual doing good work. This week Kirby talks about a collaboration between the Pomerene Center for the Arts and Coshocton Behavioral Health Choices on an art project. You can see video about that project here. Amy talks about the Kiwanis Pancake Day and the good that comes from that fun event (that is today).
So that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening to Episode 27 of the He Said She Said Podcast! Any feedback will be welcome as we try to provide you value! If you want to subscribe you can do that where you normally get podcasts…or you can head here to follow on Soundcloud.
Thanks so much for listening! If you have any topics you want Kirby and Amy to cover, please comment and let us know! Oh…and if you like this content, check out this page where you can find all of the content we create!
by Kirby Hasseman
In Stephen Covey’s all time best-seller 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey talks about spending time in your “Circle of Influence.” The idea is simple. The most effective people spend more time on things that they can control than what they cannot. And, as Covey points out, when you spend more time on those things you can control, your Circle of Influence often actually grows.
I am reminded of this the morning after any Election Day.
When you are working on a campaign, you are spending time in your Circle of Influence. You are promoting, talking and educating people about an issue on which you care deeply. In doing so, you are investing time in that circle. It’s productive and (often) powerful.
Then, on Election Day, those who exercise their right to vote are in their Circle of Influence too. You take the time to cast your ballot so your voice can be heard.
But what do you do after that? Many of us worry and lament and complain about the outcome of the election. We might even take to social media to express our frustrations. It’s totally understandable. But it’s not in your Circle of Influence. You (and I) can change nothing by doing so.
So on this day after the Election, you might find yourself on the wrong side of an outcome. The election (whatever election it was) might not have gone your way. It is frustrating (trust me, I understand). But as you start today it’s important to bring your focus back to your Circle of Influence.
Ask yourself this: What can I do to make things better today?
Now take your time, energy and talent…and do that.
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by Kirby Hasseman
I am often fascinated how two people can view the same thing and have two (often viscerally) different reactions to it.
For example, the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a classic personal development book. It’s well respected, and selfishly, it made a huge difference in my life. So when I went to find the reviews on Audible for this classic, it was amazing to me that it had 599 1 star reviews! These people not only did not love the book (as I did) but went out of their way to tell everyone that they should not read (or listen to) it.
You see the same thing in the development of communities. As I talk about in this video, people can look at the same exact project and view it totally differently. Is it progress? Is it a mess? Is it investment or is it another step back? What you see is often entirely up to your perspective.
That brings us to Election Day.
Today is Election Day across the country, and millions of people that view the world differently will head to the polls to vote. We have people from different religions, ethnicity, genders, and political affiliations heading to make their voices heard. And while we often focus on the frustration and vitriol of the whole process, I do love that we each get the right to make our voice heard. It’s a true blessing.
So here are two quick thoughts as we head to vote…
Action > Keyboard Activism
The lead up to any Election cycle can be tough. We have voices from both sides shouting as loudly as they can to get their voices heard. It’s annoying, for sure, but it’s their right. But all of that huffing and puffing mean very little if you don’t put that voice into action. If you want to have a “real voice,” you need to vote. Put down your phone and go do that.
Be Respectful
We all have our windows that we view the world from. Our reality is not the only reality (as hard as that is to comprehend). Some people love the movie “The Princess Bride” and some people don’t. So if we can agree on something as simple as that (you are wrong if you don’t like it), then of course we might have differing views on the greater world around us. Just remember that every debate should not create a new enemy. Oh, and no one has ever changed their mind after being insulted.
It Will All Be Okay
Finally, just know that tomorrow this will be over and it will all be okay. So much of the messaging is created around telling you the worst case scenario of every outcome. But tomorrow, the sun will come up and it will be up to the rest of us to get to work…and make the world better.
Let’s start that work today.
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