by Kirby Hasseman
A couple of years ago, I wrote the book “Fan of Happy” as a way to communicate life lessons for my daughters. The lessons developed into a book that I am proud to share. But since the book was published, I continue to grow and evolve. I continue to learn. And so I have come across some new lessons I would like to share with my daughters…and you. So here are a few new “lessons for my daughters.”
It Might Be a Sign
When you are chasing a new goal or a new dream, it will be hard. Anyone that tells you differently is selling something. So often today, we are filled with memes and platitudes that tell us that “when we find the right path” things will get easy. Or you have heard “when you find what you love you will never work another day in your life.”
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but those are not true.
When you are doing something new, or creating a new path, there will be challenges. You will be stretched. This is not, as some would have you believe, a sign that you should stop. It’s not a sign that you are not supposed to chase that dream. As a matter of fact, it can be the opposite. It is often a sign you are on the right track.
For example, when you go to the gym (or workout in any way), you are pushing your body out of its comfort zone. You break down your muscle, so it can rebuild itself…stronger. The next day (and particularly two days later) you are sore. But you don’t view that discomfort as a sign that you are not on the right path. It’s a sign you are doing the right thing! Discomfort is a part of the journey. Embrace it as a sign you need to keep pushing.
Jealousy versus Admiration
When you see someone else having some level of success in life, especially if that success comes in the form of something you want, it’s natural to be a bit jealous. They have what you want. You are working hard to chase a dream, and it seems like it’s coming easy to them. They are ahead of you on the path. It’s natural to ask “why not me?”
It’s also incredibly unproductive.
When faced with a situation like this, re-direct your focus from jealousy to admiration. Jealousy is a negative emotion that shuts down your creative brain. Admiration still shows you the gap between what you want, and what you have. But that change gives your brain the space to not only admire them, but learn from them. What are they doing that you are not? Who do they know? What training have they done? What can you learn from them.
When you admire someone, you can learn from them.
Start Your Day with Gratitude
You cannot be negative and grateful at the same time. Though I have said that before, I learned a new trick this year that helps me frame my day in the first 60 seconds. When I am feeling overwhelmed with life, my first thoughts of the day have to do with what happened yesterday. What did I mess up? Why did they say that to me? Or I might think about the things I am dreading coming up today.
Either way, I am not living in the present.
When the alarm goes off and my mind begins to race, my new practice is to take just one minute to think about the things in my life that I am grateful for. It’s a simple exercise that takes me out of an immediate state of stress. It also reminds me, on a day when I need to work hard, why I am working hard in the first place!
If you are interested in more lessons like this, you can check out my book Fan of Happy on Amazon here. Oh, and if you want to make sure you never miss an update, sign up to become a VIP here.
by Kirby Hasseman
It happens to everyone at some point. Well, I can certainly say it happens to me.
Our work life gets more and more hectic. We have travel commitments. We have meetings. We have projects. Then one day we walk into our office (or work space) and it looks like a bomb has gone off. Though there might have been a system of organization at the beginning, now it just looks like stacks of papers all over the place. The office is a complete mess.
When this happens to me, I struggle to think.
My mind is constantly being distracted by this pile and that pile. I see trails of unfinished projects and ideas…and I struggle to focus on the task at hand. When I realize this, in my office, it usually means it’s time for a purge. Regardless of how busy I am, it usually pays me to take the time to clean up. Not only do I get my focus back (at least a little), but I usually unearth some projects that I am excited to work on again.
This time of year can be like that. May is not only the season of spring. It’s also the time of softball season, piano recitals, dance, and this year, graduation parties. Every weekend is filled with the parties of excited graduating seniors and many other activities. These are all good and important and fun events. But just like the cluttered desk, sometimes it’s hard to keep it all straight.
And just for good measure, we decided to host an Open House at Hasseman Marketing tomorrow night!
No…I don’t mean it’s time to purge. Though sometimes if feels like it would be easier to move away in May, that’s not the answer. Just as in the case with my office, it’s about getting back to basics. Usually it helps to get all of these events on one piece of paper (or calendar).
“The brain is a great place for coming up with ideas. It’s not a great place to store them.”
Getting all of these events out of your brain and onto a calendar will not make May less hectic. But it might help you to enjoy the moment just a bit more.
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by Kirby Hasseman
I am working on a project right now that scares me.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad project. On the contrary, it’s (potentially) big and exciting. It has generous upside. But it has downside too. In addition, it has lots of moving parts. It is going to make me do things that are new to me. It’s going to stretch the team…and me. It scares me because it’s (just a bit) outside of the norm for us.
But here’s the thing…outside of the norm is where growth comes from.
If you want to grow yourself, your sales or your business, this is the dilemma. You can’t grow (much) by doing the same things you have done in the past. Oh, sure, you can get just a little bit better at the things you already do. But you will never take the big leap that you want to by doing running the same plays from the same playbook. At some point, you need to try something new. You have to try something bigger.
And that’s when the voice kicks in.
The voice kicks in because you are uncomfortable and a little scared. The voice starts telling you all of the things that could go wrong. It fills your brain with worst case scenarios of doom. That voice is fear masquerading as your friend, pretending to keep you safe.
When we hear that voice, we are often convinced to stay where we are.
Here is what I am learning about “the voice.”
The voice shows up precisely when you are doing something cool and new and different. We most often see the voice or the struggle as a sign we are on the wrong path. We have it backwards. The voice shows up when you are onto something! It’s a sign you should keep going…not stop. The thing that has been stopping us is often actually a hint that we are on the right track.
It’s just how we interpret the signals.
As I write this, I am up early on a project that scares me…and I am excited about it.
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by Kirby Hasseman
It was a cold, dark morning.
This morning, when I heard the puppy whimpering, it was early and it was dark. It was about 10 minutes before the alarm was set to go off, so I turned the alarm off and walked out to let the dog outside. I wiped the sleep from my eyes as I tried to attach the leash to Fin’s collar. I would just let him out, but he cannot be trusted. So I hooked him up and walked outside…and wow!
It was cold!
The cold burst of air hit me and I realized I should have put on more than a t-shirt. Then as I stepped off the porch and felt the cold, wet drops on my neck. It was more snow than rain, but either way, it woke me up in a hurry. I was cold. I had no coffee. I was getting wet and standing in the dark. Ah…the glory of owning a puppy!
That’s not what you think of when you make the decision to get a dog is it? You think of taking walks with your new buddy. You envision cuddling up and taking naps together! And don’t forget playing catch. It will be SO much fun! And here’s the thing, you do have those moments. But they are not the ONLY moments. You have to do the cold, wet mornings in the dark too.
Building a Business Is The Same
The same is true for for building a sales career or a business. We often spend a lot of time envisioning how great it’s going to be. We think about the freedom. We consider being our own boss. We run the numbers and think about the big money you are going to make! But we don’t always consider the after hours work. We don’t think about the stress or the number of people that are depending on you. We don’t always think through what happens when the numbers don’t look good.
In those moments, it can feel like you are alone, in the dark with a cold rain on your neck. It’s not always as glorious as people make it out on the internet. Being an entrepreneur can be hard and lonely.
But there’s good news within this dark cloud.
There is Good AND Bad
I am not working to be a downer. In everything there is good and bad. It’s just better to understand that. It’s important to know that there will be times that are tough in any endeavor…and that’s okay! Don’t get down that there are tough times. Just know that better times will come if you keep after it. Which leads nicely into…
Most People Are Not Willing To Deal With The Bad
The fact of the matter is, most people want the puppy but not all of the headaches that come with it. The same is true with building a business. They see the outer success and would love that. But most people are not willing to do what it takes. They are not willing to put themselves out there. So if you are, you are 100% ahead of the game.
Accept that there will be tough times. When you do, they don’t surprise and overwhelm you. Then you have the energy to put in the work that others are not willing to do.
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by Kirby Hasseman
It was several years ago and I had just come from a community meeting. I walked into a local retailer and started talking to the nice woman behind the counter. The topic changed to the local “First Fridays” event that was hosted on Main Street.
The idea of the event was simple. The First Friday of each month, retailers would stay open later, there would be food, and entertainment on Main Street and (hopefully) people would come down and enjoy. I loved the concept of the event and was involved with helping to plan it.
The woman started to make suggestions about the event. It went something like this…
‘
“They need to have it earlier in the day.”
“They need to start it sooner in the year.”
“They need to have more food.”
They. They. They. They.
Having just come from a meeting about First Fridays, I stopped her.
“Here’s the thing. I am a part of “they.” We are starting a new group called “we.” You are welcome to be a part of it.”
She had a confused look on her face, so I explained. “It’s not an exclusive group. We don’t get paid. Frankly, we don’t often even get invited! It’s just a group of people willing to do something.”
The conversation ended there.
That’s how it happens so often. There is a long list of people willing to bitch, moan and complain about things. This group does not like how things are and are willing to tell everyone about it. But when asked to help, they get quiet or disappear.
Don’t be that guy or gal.
If you see something that you are frustrated with in your community, start considering what YOU can do about it. Sure, it might be calling “the authorities.” But it might be something you can do on your own.
Are they weeds too high downtown? You could pull them.
Does one of your neighbors let their grass grow too high? You could help them mow it.
Is there trash along the side of the road? You could pick it up.
You may not want to. You may even be thinking “that’s not my job.” Maybe not. But you COULD do it. So if you could do it, and you don’t do it…it’s a choice.
The same is true for any area of your life. If you want something to change, you could wait around for someone to change it for you. Or, you could figure out what needs to change, and take action yourself.
It’s your choice. Choose wisely.
by Kirby Hasseman
I was on the phone with our web designer, Eric Dingler, the other day and I realized something. Eric just finished a new web design for a client and we were talking about re-designing our own site as well. He was listening to my ideas on things I wanted to include and making suggestions. Then he spent some time telling me about website podcasts he listens to, and their advice on the matter. He excitedly told me about a new “tricks and tips” he could work into our site. That was when it hit me.
The best people to work with are the ones that are constantly learning and honing their craft.
Always. It never stops.
Then I looked around my office and noticed the same thing with our designer Josh. He is always looking at design. Sure, he went to school for design and he has the background and the chops. But he follows designers, he studies their work, he enjoys the conversation. He is honing his craft.
The question is…what are you working on? What do you want to become great at? If you will or if you won’t can be answered by whether or not you are continually learning or studying your craft. Want to be a fitness expert? Yes, of course you have to put in the work. You have to work on your own diet and your own fitness. But are you reading the latest blogs? Are you up on the latest workouts?
Want to stand out in Content Marketing? It’s not just about creating content (though that is super important). It’s also about studying other masters to see what is working and what is not? Want to lead in sales? It’s not just about making the sales calls (though that is where it starts). You need to continually be reading articles, books, and blogs on the topic. You have to get re-inspired and re-imagined to continue to be the best.
Do you want to be great at something or are you just saying it? A simple self-audit will tell you the truth if you let it. You are passionate about what you work at and study. Look at your calendar and study your time. That will tell you the truth. Make sure you never miss an update! It’s a great time to become a VIP! Sign up here for our weekly email with all of our content.
